Assalamualaikum w.bt. kids? How’s life? Well, like I always said, its really nice seeing u guys again, yeah, like I always said too, Im just busy, and as much as I enjoy writing, and again, hitting the board as I search my mind for any glimpse of remorse and guilt, or perhaps if im lucky enuff there’s joy to share but surely most of the time is pain, suffer, and killing (ganas eh?), there are just not enuf time, oh im just too damn lazy to hit it, ahha, please don’t be lazy okay, I dunt want u to inherit any of my negative traits.
There are times I think too much about the future, but, when it comes to ur future, I don’t think there’s no question as too much. I am the kind of guy who’d like to plan ahead, making plans with whom im gonna get married, where im gonna live, how much salary can I bring back home every month, planning to further my education, or where im gonna work at, but I often ask myself; where the heck im gonna be in the next 5-10 years from now. Am I still gonna become an engineer, or God had a better plans for me? Will I get my master’s degree? Or just continue the way I am..will I gain more experience or lie, being permanent member of the NEET? And as much im thinking too much, the future is indeed coming near, those five, 10 years feels like around the corner, and suddenly I never made any decisions at all, thus, the only thing I cud see, that I cud differentiate is my performance, my skills, my knowledge, how I bring myself in society and compare them with my fellow friends. And believe me, as u grow up, u developed this few people around u that u wish u cud be friends, but somehow u ended up challenging them, and their presence is a gud form of stress, a positivity in negativity, a kind of force that encourages and motivates you to go on, and not giving up, but somehow u cant be friends with them and ask them to join for lepak or going to the surau together, or borrow money or seek his attention whenever problem arises becos u have pride and asking them will only not lower ur self esteem but shattering ur pride as well; only if u have this feelings whenever u meet that person, guys, its time u work ur ass out because, ur rival, ur challenger had just arrived :-)
But ironically, there’s a saying my teacher had once said which is ‘pride comes before a fall’ which si true to certain extent, or maybe on certain type of pride. Haha, whu wudve tot that pride also had its own specifications and classifications. This was one of the sayings that I often think about, the contradiction to the infamous stereotypical perspective the society had always instilled in me made me think that life, like I had always said, apart from the religious aspects, the degree of correction is different between people and it vary according to the situation, thus its crucial for us to be balanced, and flexible as we proceed with our drastic life :-)