Thursday, September 29, 2011

New Phase

Ayah dah lama sangat nak kata ni...

"Let's go Glasgow!"

Love you guys, like I always had :-)

Friday, September 16, 2011

There's No Such Thing As Too Late...Kot

Orang selalu kata cinta itu buta, tetapi, sejauh mana kebenaran hakikat itu bukan bergantung pada mereka, tetapi faktor-faktor yang menyebabkan cinta itu disalah tafsir sehingga membutakan terletak pada diri kita yang , sememangnya, hakikatnya, lahiriahnya buta bukan pada mata, tetapi hati, tidak dapat menilai dan membezakan antara alumiminum dan titanium

Dalam hidup, yang singkat ini, kita sering mencintai, mendambakan insan yang salah, dan mengabaikan, mengasingkan insan yang benar-benar mencintai kita, penuh tulus dari hatinya yang suci. Kita selalu membuat pilihan yang salah, dan hanya sedar untuk betapa silapnya kita di penhujung sesuatu perjalanan.

dan ini anak-anakku; inilah kehidupan.

ayah sayang korang, serius, seperti selalu :-)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Penulis= Penuh+Lisan

Assalamualaikum kids? I cant minds wandering awaaaay...haha, nah, its just dat ive overslept early in the evening, so dats why, gotta change my biological clock, reset it back to stereotypical normal.

Kids, I have many reason to write actually. Apart from all the obvious reasons, the oblivious ones and the many reasons to come that I may never find an actual category for it, one of the reason kids is that I simply love writing, and reading good essays. No, im not saying Im a good writer, is that, maybe, what I did here, is one of my attempts of contributing to doing the things that I like.

I have friends, closed ones asking me this:
"...tapi your blog are meant to be private. And I dont really feel comfortable letting people know about my life, i dont want my privacy to be invaded by unknown people. How come you let your blog become public?"

well, dat's one of the good questions, this is indeed private, but still what I wrote in this kids, is solely based on my judgment, my perspective on life, and I believe that one day when Im gone, hopefully you guys would spent maybe a little bit of your free time, taking a break from you, busy hectic schedule, to understand, to digest, and grasp a much clearer idea on how I had lived my life, and will be a turning point on how you will live yours. It's open to public, because when I write, I wrote about my experiences, that involves real people, people who are beloved to me, who I care so much and their existence definitely meant something to me, and I want them to know how I openly feel about them. There's no hatred, or sense of prejudice, and in case if there's any of my writing material offend any of my beloved friends and family, I stand corrected. Because, when I'm gone, no one will be able to edit any of this stuff.

I continued writing because....I just like it. I just enjoy expressing my ideas here, and have sum sort of illusion that maybe one day, someday you will log into the web and accidentally come across my blog, haha, how dramatic. But, I really wish I can just convey all the feelings bottled up in my chest directly to you, throughout my actions, but i was never good with kids. I admit I was never a good uncle, i never did any good things to your uncle iman, amirul, adam, and not to mention your aunt fatihah. I dont know why, to express my love for them was never easy, and no matter how much I cared, I just cant show it. And I hoped things will not be the same for us, and if it did, and if someday I end up in some old folks home, when Im bedridden, or my time on earth is almost up, you will realize, that, I for once in my life, had a great love, underlying my hard actions and egoistical talking. I may pretend like I dont care, but believe me, it was of my slightest intention of making you feel that way, because i only want the best and the good things for your fragile, short life.

I remembered back then, when it all started, my urge to write good essays came from reading all these books. You named it 'Permata yang Hilang', '85,956 Contoh-contoh Karangan Menusuk Kalbu Konon', 'Menekel Kertas Karangan', 'Essay for Dummies', dan 'Esei-esei Kacang Lagi Mudah', semua ayah baca, best gila, so when you read a good material, I guess its normal to produce your own one, and this are the materials I choose to write about; family, friends, love, life, and success.

Oh, recently I got this chance to further my studies, but dont know about it much. I just hope that I could get that qualification wanted and use the knowledge gained to help my countrymen, to contribute to society, maybe not as directly like doctors, nurses, or teachers, but I still believe that no matter how useless I am, there must be, at least the slightest bit, the smallest part in me that is useful to the society; and accomplishing that is my fardhu kifayah. And with God's grace may He help me in my quest for knowledge and all the endeavors I'll come upon, InsyaAllah.

No matter how high I fly, or how far we go in life, I will always love you, lovey-lovey you, like I always had.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Love....Arggggghhhh!!! Berapa Kali nak 'Love-love' ni!!!!!

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Well, what's wrong with title above? Oh well, i just assuming that maybe, maybe you guys had become fed up of my stories that usually revolves around love. Okay, i admit, I am hopelessly pathetic when it comes to love, but remember this, even the hardest of men respond to love, and I one of the few hard, macho men (ewaaahh) that well, responds...more, haha.

Kids, I never ever feel bored whenever I had this topic in my mind. Kalau time SPM karangan ada tajuk ni, dis wud surely be one of those few easy score-A subjects. But, nope, pembuat soalan SPM kertas 1 Bahasa Melayu dan Inggeris were never a hopeless romantic, but me, I try hardly only to find it surprisingly easy to include all these important factors in the essays.

Okay, let's get ourselves back together eh kids? I wanna talk about love today, so i dont care how many times I said it, i just feel like telling it. So, bear with me on dis one (and many, many-many more to come) *smile*

Recently, uncle's Sufian's girlfriend, well, maybe by the time you read this you guys should have called her Aunty Sarina (InsyaAllah) she had a friend, who had a strong desire for her beloved counterpart, only to be able to savour the few moments of breathtaking, refreshing experience with her beloved, an experience that I sure none of us would trade for anything in any part of this world, an experience that one could consider as short and brief, like a fading candle in the midst of the dark night. Tragically, the guy, whom she had a crush on had met with an accident few days before, and your Aunty Sarina was so busy trying to come up with comforting, reassuring, positive words and advice, but she too realized that as much as she wants to reassure her beloved friend, there's nothing much she can do about it; for Life and Death was never a predictable variable that we can control, meddle and interfere; it's the work of the divine Almighty and as His loyal, humble servant, the only we can do, we must do, is that accept it the way it is.

So, it was hard, she even asked my opinions and I too was clueless. But I know one thing, if this is to be were tackled from an engineering perspective, and considering the way I handle things with people's affair, it's best to be straight, honest, and polite. So, I tell her I too was clueless, and I may never feel whatever she's feeling right now, but I said to her too to not give up, and give in. God will not make you undergo certain test if you are not able and up to the challenge, and God is the best planner for He is the Almighty and only He knows His creation better than others.

My point is here is that, people, someone you love, will definitely come, and go as you progress, regardless their action of separating their life is sumthing they choose or not, but nevertheless, never give up, and as long as you breath, the bright side of life will definitely come; it's only a matter of time, and pace.

I had always feel this, the empty space in my heart, unlike Aunty Sarina's friend, unlike most of the cases, I cant seem to find the valuable, unique, piece of puzzle to complete the jigsaws of my hollow, cold heart. And the key that lies in holding the most awaiting piece of my heart lies in time. Yeah, time. Time is the best medicine to mend a broken heart, to make it all good again, time is the factor. And in my case and could be your case as well, it's just a matter of time. To my deep, innerself, to aunty Sarina's friend, to my fellow friends who are still in the quest of finding their soulmate, please, please....wait patiently for God will help us with our endeavours kerana apabila seseorang itu telah berkahwin, maka dia telah melengkapkan separuh dari agamanya. 

I will always love you guys, and please wait patiently until the day we met, like you always had :-)

Life's Brief Candle by Shakespeare

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Independent Syawal

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? This year around, the hari raya is intertwined with both raya and merdeka. So, as much as people said the importance of raya, the independent day shud never be neglected as well, tho I had to admit that dis year, the mood of independence is easily swallowed by the mood of the glittering Syawal.

And this year's syawal is pretty much the same like the past few rayas that I had, i'm in no mood for hari raya...yet, probably, but unlike previous raya where I had gone back to Kuala Pilah to see my aunty, it's pretty much the other way around for this raya.

This year, this raya, cant be quite life changing experience, a breath taking one to be exact....or not, oh well, it reaallly depends on how we look at certain matters, and for this, i prefer to view it in a much positive, enduring, exhilarating yet scary experience with a lots of dizziness and clumsiness squeezed in along the way, but nevertheless, I am really excited and I cant wait to see where the end of the road leads me to.

People had say this, wait, I invent this, "When love didnt turn out your way, it finds a better destination" and I believe this, I had faith that God had a better plan for all of us, it's up to us to realize it or stupidly, blind-foldedly to refuse the eye-poking truth and chances that we got.

And every....every one of us have the underlying potential, the unknown capability unbeknownst to the best of us, the ability to outshine, outbeat and outpace the strongest, siliest, darkest rival anyone could find. That's why we should never underestimate and undermine other people because what goes around comes around.

I have lots of things to say, but my mind seem to be so messed up like always. Lately I had undergone a medical checkup and I gained few kgs, oh well, that's normal, and I cant be thankful enuf to the Almighty for giving me  such wealthy health. I realize too, that in life, i was never thankful enuf, never ever feel satisfied with what I had in a negative aspect, and yet God had continue showering me with His blessings, and may I shall not be forgetful in the good or bad times. Enuf said, I will always love you guys, like I always had.

Wake Me Up When Ramadhan Comes Again...Apa? Dah Ramadhan!? Yey!

Assalamualaikum kids, em, how's life? How's fasting? Did i put up the rm1 as the reward for you guys who successfully able to fast per day? did you guys sumhow curi-curi makan along the way to school? Haha. i guess for time being im out of words. I always did, kan? :-)

Yeah, it's Ramadhan again. Life's pretty much back to basics again. Ramadhan, in the recent years had been a nostalgic month, a specific timeline of my life, a special one indeed, even there's much restriction during days, but there's much more we can achieve, as a muslim dat is. And why it had been a nostalgic one, i prefer to keep it to myself.

So, one of the common events dat we have in Ramadhan, apart from the mercun, semayang terawih, and not to mention there's no football in the evening at padang f, there's this one thing dat had become the highlight of Ramadhan and kids, dat is the bazaar in the evening.

Okay, this year, I am not much occupied last few years back, so on the 1s tday of Ramadhan, i managed to snuck out early from training and came to see what's the commotion all about; the ruckus; did the bazaar do live up its name which it deed in terms of price indeed, dan one of the things dat intrigues me is dat why the heck there are so many people open up stalls in taman melawati? you can see people setting up booths, erecting camps on the road curb, and not to mention that despite the traffic congestion caused by their stalls still attracts lots of customers; oh it's sumthing i'd call the wonders of Ramadhan, i guess.

So, you see, on the 1st day I went and 'dive' into the huge tides of people at the bazaar, i called my mom.

"mak, nak apa?"
"beli la seri muka, samosa ke, abang ko nak karipap"
"okay, nanti adik beli"

okay, karipap, seri muka, samosa...gotcha! and i make my way into the crowd. it was hard, as i pave my way from rows to rows, finding the right stall, not to mention i dont know how seri muka looks like, and the process didnt come easy, because there are so much people. and there are times i was stalled in one of the rows for like 3-5 minutes, kalah trafik jam mrr2, haha. Not to mention there are people who stand in the middle of the way, sum trying to go against the flow, sum are sweaty, sum are well...odoury, haha, and there's people begging for money, usually with a kid on her lap, which is sad sight, yet not healthy for the kid itself. I guess, this is part of life...wait, it is part of life!

I realize too, my life right now is pretty much the same with my 1st day in the bazaar ramadhan. Still clueless, still searching, wondering, and grasping for air, light, and direction of the glimpse of the divine, much higher power direction.

I dont know how it will turn up soon, but, I never feel like taking this fight off in the quest of a better life, a better way of dealing with people and my innerself, nevertheless, I do enjoy this never-tiring, never-ending process, may I find solace at the end of this looong, winding yet straight road, and with the huge love that I hardly show to you guys in the depth of my shallow heart, I will always love you, like I always had :-)