Ok, here is a picture. I am indeed speechless, but hey, picture's worth a thousand words.
Back then, in form 2, i was sitting in front, the 1st row,near the window and corridor,at that time, but often I look back and saw her face. I thought 'sapa ni? tak pernah nampak pun?' but then when i was in form 3 I usually go at the back of the class, and I'd stare her for few seconds and i know that she'll affect my life in the future,and now, here it comes, but then, it was already too late.
I'm already too late to make amends, already too late to gather my courage and already too late. I really wished I cud've taken your picture more, and now getting the slr camera seems pointless. It's funny too that tho we're (used to be) best friend, I didnt have many of your pictures. If there's anything I wud like to do before you go anymore further, is to take more of your pictures and give you a bouquet of flowers, but I guess it's already too late.
That night, I borrowed motor from uncle Keba, and rode the motor up the hill,and took this picture. All of my other shots were blurry, and for I dont know how many times, I felt the tears falling through.
These few years, my life sucked a lot, but you've become my sunshine and made all the dark clouds go away, i didnt realize that, and I took you for granted,it's really my loss, and i'm facing the consequences. It sucks eh to not know that you really love someone only after when she or he is gone.
Now that she's gone, I felt a huge part of my body was taken, I felt hollow, miserable and painful, but your happiness is my first priority. I tried to make myself busy with trivial matters, but i could never lie to myself, so I was very relieved for what I did.
I could only pray the best for you friends, and I'll try to keep my distance if it requires, if that's for the best interest of both parties, not because I hate you, but its the other way around; seeing you walking the aisle with someone else, while used to have strong sense of emotion that could never, ever be released could just bottling up to an unwanted pain in my heart.
I will run further, and improve myself, and hopefully I'll find another better destination to end this. Adalah penting untuk kita bersangka baik dengan ketentuan Allah.
When the time comes, like every tears that fall through, every anger and pain that can't never be vent out, these will vanish and disappears just like the cold wind sweeping every drops of the sweat and tears.I can't thank you enough, I'm speechless,and feeling awkward right now, but I will still always pray for you and you will always be my best friend, like you've always had.
ps: revised and edited in Andrew Ure Hall, Parsonage Row, High Street, Glassgow for the purpose of making sure any respective person remains anonymous.