In Search for Neon with Only Accompanied by a Single White Line

Assalamualaikum Hanafiah, how life been treating u recently? Okay? Feeling much better? How was your rashes? Demam lagi? Hopefully not, hopefully not for any of you guys either, my beloved friends.

haha, I ges I gotta thank En Malek, our FYP coordinator for pushing us, for making us occupied with doing the project which even tho a pain in our ass, but still, it definitely bring us lots of benefits, haha.

Em, today I ran again, during night. It was quite sometime, maybe like 2-3 days I was unable to run due to lots of reasons, open house mostly. Yesterday I went to Saidah's sister's open house, then to Bang Icam's house. I ate a LOT, haha. Those plates of kambing meat had definitely taken its toll on my run just now. I need to get back on shape, need to strengthen my core, for next week is the big day, my first attempt to run in an official race.

I hope dat I could complete the 11km Mizuno Wave Run, i wish I could finish it without having to walk at all during the course.

Yeah, tonight, just now, I ran again, it was short, i didnt manage to go far like I used to, but I was able to run until Shell, which is a good warming up. I hope this will improve later on.

I ran, as I went near the stadium, it was dark, the neon lights were OUT!! Ohhh, c'mon man, i really need the lamp to work, 'c'mon, not when I'm using the street!' I murmured. i really wish dat the lamp post would turn on back as I pass by, but then again my pure wish were turned down. Life is always like dat, u can never expect things to turn your way, what you plan today could turn catastrophic next morning, but like a runner in the middle of rain, we could only pray, we could only wish dat the wind would blew the cold, dark, heavy rain clouds away and sunshine took place, but like I said, we could only pray when things didnt turn our way.

I ran, pushing myself, feeling every bit of pain in my body, my mind was away about tomorrow's FYP presentation, mys slides arent fully ready,what was I thinking running now, but then again, its not like I'll finish it up, so I might as well jog now.

I ran, until that petrol station, i stopped, and grasping for air. Pathetically, from that point onwards, I walked beck home, it wasnt pretty much I wanted. I went back thru the dark route. Wow, dis time it reeeaaaalllly is dark, damn, i thought.

I continue jogging slowly, but I can't see anything, the moon wasnt on my side tonight, nor the stars are shyly fading into the dark sky, and I was alone, like always. Wait, arent we all like dat, alone? We came to this world alone, and we'll die leaving it alone too. Somewhere along the process we definitely will be alone too, so technically, being alone in the dark is part of us human beings, no part of everything in this world. But still, i wish you'll never be able to feel such unwanted feeling again, the hollow, and coldness that covers, and accompanied the sorrow of being alone sucks alot, it sucks alot that sometimes it hurts even more that the sharpness of a blade, or maybe in a modern work nowadays where technology is getting more advance and technical, even more lethal than the grenades or weapon of mass destruction. Haha, okay, dat may be a lil bit overboard, but still, being alone hurts.

It was dark, and pitch black. No one was around, and I was about to wonder aimlessly. But, like every cloud dat has its silver lining, every road has its white lining too, haha. With the white light that I barely saw, I follow it thru, and tried to watch up front few times between, in case there's a vehicle coming from the front. I was glad, with this single line, I follow it along the way. This single line, it reaaallly meant a lot. I was glad.

Tho the night was cold, tho I was alone, i didnt hope for someone to be there with me, I didnt expect you to be with me and sit this thru, I just didnt. I just wish there neither, that no one, not a single person will suffer such feeling again.

Life is full of dark moments, with the unwanted pitch blacks that overwhelms us during our downfall, during recession, or when we failed our exams or just when things didnt turned our way, but lets remember this every time we stumble across such moments, lets remember that every dark road has its white lining to guide us out of the pitch black of miseries, downfall and sorrow. Just follow it, the line dat God had created beautifully for us, the line that had been set up to help us human, His beloved slaves whom pathetically often turn away from Him during our good moments. Follow dis my friend, and you'll find the ray of neon lights soon enough.

Dont you think dat its such a wonderful feeling, to be given directions and able to find your way out even with GPS, or satellite radar, or any break-thru advance technology like the westerners had always proud of? Dont you think dis is wonderful and how great God's love to His slaves? Well, I think it's great.

I may be alone, but I'm not, I am not pious (but I'll try) and i had my running, and hopefully God will watch me running safely back home. I hoped, dat I and any of my friends will never be traumatized by such stigmas again, never had to feel the sharpness of the blade called sorrow dat cuts even the hardest of men into pieces or ever succumb into the darkness of being alone ever again, I pray for the best of you guys, for the best of myself too, like I had always wished ;-)

Izinkan Aku Berlari Meninggalkan Mu

Wah Wei Hanafiah, c’mon dow, u can do this, u can this pull this off, c’mon!! Okay, that was a lil bit a heck of an intro eh? Well, I like such intro tho, it helps me to keep up to the reader’s expectation, that is my future self, haha.

Recently, I realize that being busy is some sort of gift too, it helps you to put unwanted things aside, or at least you’ll be too busy to be bothered with it. Oh, the only thing I held on dearly recently is running. I tried every day to jog, to at least sweat a few rounds around the stadium, thanks to her, my best friend I had started take up running during night.

But then again, it didn’t stop there. Now I felt like jogging at each route I see. Whenever I was driving, I saw certain road, I’ll feel like stopping, put on my worn out shoes, and run against the flow of traffic, against the flow of life, against sharp edges of society’s stereotypical negative perspective, accompanied with the loud playback of certain artist whom their music inspires me and its lyrics; like a warcry , pushing, enrage, and increase the burning passion and motivation to keep on going, keep on moving, and hopefully as I went thru dat route, not only I find satisfaction, joy, or any some of salty sweat overflowing from my face, but with God’s grace may I find a better conclusion, a better way to sort things out, a fresh mind to think properly.

I don’t know how many times I’ve wrote abt this thing, abt what I felt when I run, it’s just that, maybe now running is all I can write about. It sucks sometimes, but, hey, I got something kan? This is after all trivial matters, is not like the world crisis or the world war to get my head so worked up. But then again, people had mind, but they had feelings too; the body isn’t only made up of brain, there’s also heart. And triviality of certain problems, the worriness, it vary between people, u can never feel exactly what it feels like on the other side of the shoe if you’re two different person, but opening up and sharing, it helps reducing the burden, so mystical yet simple.

Sesungguhnya sesudah setiap kesukaran, ada kemudahan.

Bear that in mind my friend, and may you’ll find your definition of success, may you’ll overcome any obstacles with great spirit .

Thank you friend, thanks for everything.

Izinkan aku berlari meninggalkan mu. Like I’ve always had wished ;-)