Another Birthday, Another Thought, Another Day without Her

Assalamualaikum Hanafiah? Hei, what a boring person u are eh? To have time to write, to have time to express ur feelings in words, and let people know what’s going thru inside that thick head of urs, well, whatever it is, don’t ever lose faith, never, ever.

So, what’s up? Yeah, I guess recent event surely had been a wakeup call for u my friend. Life is hard, and unpredictable, but what I learnt recently is that, the condition of heart is beyond our control, and u cant make someone like u the same way just by using ur heart, but u must also have the brain, to stimulate the relationship, to adjust the condition where the feeling of love could bloom, but love itself is, like any other feelings are very unpredictable, u cud never expect someone will feel the same way about u tomorrow. U may cuddle hundred times, or said the L word (nope, not DAT L.O.S.E.R. word) like a thousand times a day, but if she didn’t feel dat way, she just didn’t feel that way. Yeah, it hurts, rejection hurts, like hell it did, but still, it’s not the end of the world, rather see this as an opportunity, to improve, to make urself better.

Wow, it sucks a lot eh, she’s gone, and I’m sleeping with the light on, I can feel her slipping out thru my fingers, running deep between my veins, and it’s hurting me, and it really is. I need a run, I need a cool breeze washing up my face, make my eyes open wider, but I’ve completed her course twice, so I wonder if such things would occur again if I completed for the third time? Well, I cant afford it, not right now, I just don’t have time for the pain.

Today is ur birthday eh Hanafiah? It seems u’re getting older, and may u’ve become more matured in whatever things u’ll venture, and whatever it is u’re going thru, never, ever lose faith, and with God’s grace my friend, u’ll achieve whatever u wanted, but in case u didn’t get what u wished for, lets remember this, God knows better, and be receptive with what He had given you. Happy 23rd birthday my friend, May God bless you, like you had always wished ;-)

written on 21st January 2010