Edinburgh, The People, Culture, Landscapes and Love

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Recently I had the chance to go to Edinburgh, other than that I didnt do anything much really. So, as I was commuting by the train, few ideas stroke my mind, like I always had, haha. Nevertheless, it was fun considering I didnt do anything much this holiday, and cramping up in my room seems a little bit ridiculous but the idea of going somewhere didnt strike my mind for I was kinda worried about my exams and assignments. These feelings of being alone in the room, with pile of things to study is faaaaar better than doing nothing at all, and having the opportunity to meet new friends, broadening my horizons by surrounding the goodness in people that I met is by faaaaar better than not doing anything at home in Malaysia; but I do miss your grandma tho.

And I pray that i will always get to meet and befriend new people and see new places. But for that, I wish that I will be able to secure a job before I finish my studies here. Love you guys, like I always had :-))

The Few Little Things that Transcend Death

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Yeah, I just went back from a friend's birthday party. Yeah, it was really fun, and not to mention there's delicious foods as well. Yeah, happy besday to aunty Syifaa, yeah, I will introduce you guys to her, and the rest of the gang, uncle hazwan, safwan, ridhwan, then there's another uncle safwan, haha, and also not to forget the religious, pious uncle faiz. Oh, by the way I started my day with coming late to an appointment because i was stuck in the bathroom with broken door knob. So, I had to jump from the window, onto the bushes, half naked, with 3-4 degree Celsius in the environment, I ran quickly as I could. But enough on dat, just like the mood of vacation, and having to just went home from a birthday party had made me thinking, about few things.

In life, there are things that I hold on the most, and among these few things dat I held above others; one of them would be integrity, and sincerity. These principles, that I had been holding on for so long, that made me running thru thick and thin, despite all the negativity it occurs of implementing it, I daresay, that Im not fairest of all in this context, there are times I hold back, and I let negativity swoops in. However, having strong feeling for your set of principles, believe and continue holding onto em, no matter how harsh the situations or conditions are against it,even having the world against your set of beliefs, even the tides doesnt favor your way; if you continue holding on to em under this situation, you're already a man, my beloved kids. And these are the principles that your great grandpa had instilled into me, indirectly, ever since I was a kid.

You see, having to grow up without a father figure, I had definitely rely on these two people in accommodating the psychological need of a person called father; these are the guys that was my father-figure to me, in the early days of my life.

So, I had always remember few taglines from my grandpa, from atuk korang. This happened when I was in standard one, aged seven years old and I just came back from school in the middle of ramadhan, the fasting month. Came back from the school, I ran to the kitchen, opened up the refrigerator and check if there's any food under the tudung saji. Yeah, I didn't fast back then, haha, hell no, you guys arent gonna get the same luxury I had, not fair? suck it up, im ur father after all, haha. Neway, I was sitting on the chair, and your grandpa, he will come.

"Haa, tak puasa"
"Adik puasa separuh hari la tuk"
"Mana boleh puasa separuh-sparuh, puasa kena penuh"
"Tak tahan la tuk, penat lari, balik skolah lapa dah"
*sambil tersenyum* "puasa memang la lapa, semalam kata nak puasa,"
*terus makan*
"tau tak ni orang india cakap apa?"
"apa tuk?"
"cakap tak serupa bikin" *sambil tersenyum

"Cakap tak serupa bikin" and I want you guys too, to remember this phrase, until the day you die. Your words are who you are, and never, ever be someone whom his words can't be trusted, never be someone who may say something, but acted totally different just to accommodate and fulfill his own negative agenda. If you are not able to say things dat you are not sure of, not ever being able to guarantee that you will act out to what you say, never in the slightest sane mind thought of saying anything, for people will claim all your words back, and they will quote the things, each single words that you said, and if you had acted differently people will lost faith, trust and will act differently. You will loose respect, and you relationship may never be the same. 

I had a friend, and he was doing the same thing. No, I didnt despise him or anything, i didnt hate him, but i think it's best if I just keep a certain space, because even though he's a friend, but things are no longer the same, ever. I just couldn't let myself to believe him, not anymore.

It's funny though, remembering my grandfather, in a foreign land. Never I thought I was able to come this far, it was of my slightest intention. I will make him proud, I will. Al-Fatihah to my grandfather, Haji Abdul Kadir bin Yunus, may he rest in peace. For all the things he did, all the principles and beliefs he sow deep in me, and all the religious teachings he taught, I can't thank him enough.

And never loose faith on me, as I will continue having faith on the great person you guys will be. I will love you guys, like I always had :-)

Back to the Basic of All Basic

Assalamualaikum Hanafiah? How’s life? I hope ure in the pink of health, like we always had wanted, and yeah, when health no longer shines its ray upon our frangible body, and as our physicals were in the twilight years, the remnants of every breath is as crepuscular as the diminishing sunlight in the western hemisphere; the undeniable truth that we no longer strong, not capable like we used to be struck our about-to-be bald head and even we’re starting to feel all this wonderful and thankful feeling of able growing old but still we cant deny about the stereotypical worries in our golden age and it somehow bothers me, well…lets worry about it later, when we're really old. Like my friend had once advised us “keep ur priorities straight”. We have other issues to resolve today, now. Like what uve always told me, don’t put off things u can do today for tomorrow, dan like u’ve always accompany every advice u gave with this statement; sesungguhnya itu adalah nasihat utk kita berdua :-) 

Assalamualaikum kids? How’s life? Frisking cool? Not? Well, I hope ure guys are fine, becos ive been down that road, it wasn’t suck, its just that it wasnt a pretty sight...well I just realize I love to have friends around. And if I was, I wasn’t spending much time writing here, haha, well, as I grow up, thanks to ur uncle Sufian, uncle Hafiz, uncle Zhafril, uncle Adam and lots more people that im unable to state here, I had started to come out of the cocoon and became more outgoing, more social, more adaptive and open to the fact that just bcos u make friends with women, its not a bad thing, just know ur limit, and if u don’t, its time to back to the basic, the very basic guidance that I used too, the basic that most of people in my era forgot to follow including me in the first place, the simplest guideline, yet the hardest to follow due to well, the reason may seems to be unbeknownst to some of us, but the truth is probably we just didn’t see it; becos we see what we wanted, and as soon as we realized it, its already too late and that basic guidance my beloved is the Holy Quran. Whenever ure stuck in life, feeling down, or lost your way as you sail thru the tides of big, monstrous tsunami, entangled complicatedly between doing wrong and right things, fear not my beloved kids for this holy book is the guideline to u guys to be back on your smelly, cute yet flimsy feet and pray to the Almighty as you put in humongous amount of sweaty effort to get yourself together and may He granted what you had always pray for, like He always had.