As a Cow, Today is the Day I Die with Glory! Salam Aidil Adha

Salam Hari Raya Aidil Adha…wow…its ironic that despite this festive day that most of us look forward to; not just becos we wanted to have a day off, but also to be in the arms of great companions and enjoy delicious, great food, my mood is nowhere to be seen, im lost but im not out of words and the sentence slowly accumulated as I stroke every piece of the letters on this keyboard, thus what im jotting down is spontaneous, impromptu, it came out at the spur of moment of my mind that ironically again seems to be wandering somewhere else. Well, as long as u can produce a result, who gives an elf about the process and methodology, we’re not writing a final year project thesis here, its just sum blog on the net that was at first dedicated for an anonymous person like I am to ramble anything that was bothering my mind, but somehow it evolved as something more; rather than just a blog, it became a a small corner in this vast cyberspace that perhaps even it is too small to be noticed by others, but its sufficient enough for me, sufficient enough to contain all the feelings I wished I had conveyed, it’s also an estranged, mysterious entity that will hear all the things I wish I could preach or conveyed easily but due to lots of circumstances or maybe perhaps its just that my mind tot too much, well, I always think too much, like I always had.

Ps: did I just write the entire paragraph using only 2 sentences? Haha, I did babble a lot, well, suck it up guys, im your pa after all :-)

Assalamualaikum kids, how’s life? Today’s actually Hari Raya Aidil Adha, yup, korban! Sweeet eh? Not only you get a day off but u get to eat your delicious mummy’s cooking and the daging korban too. Wait, what did your mother cook? Hope she didn’t get u guys sum unhealthy fast food eh? Haha.

There are lotsa morals u can cook up from hari raya aidil adha, not only just cow body parts excluding the horn and testicles, haha. Like its name implies, hari raya korban…is about sacrifice, and the intention of doing so is indeed sacred. The cows that were slaughtered will not go to waste but to be given to the poor and the unfortunates. 

The important spirit of sacrifice if to be viewed from a perspective in life; for me could be described in lots of ways. Sacrificing lots of things for lots of things. I cant really elaborate much except that when the time comes, u guys will know when to initiate it and when you do so, u will do it without regrets. And I pray that you will take each path in life without any sense of regrets, like I always had wished :-)

The Next Step for Upcoming Crossroad

Assalamualaikum w.b.t, its been reaaaly quite sumtime since u last mention sumthing in ur blog here eh Hanafiah? Haha, never mind, ive gotta admit consistency had always not been of ur strengths, but we’ll improve dat aspect later.

Okay, first of all, I’d like to say few things about marriage, why marriage? Its becos its one of the most important phase that I really look forward in life right now, and it seems every effort and decisions I’m making right now is influenced by this non-rhetorical, sacred idea.

Eversince I was a kid, I wish I cud have a big family, so im looking forward to have my own kids, and from now on, these things im writing are for u kids, yeah, seriously. Im writing this to u even before u were born, sebelum azali lagi. I don’t know if u, my beloved children will be reading this, or will I be dead even before I had the chance to get married and have my own child, or whatever the fate had in its store for me, insyaAllah, i will try my best to suck it up, dan redha dgn ketentuan Ilahi. Sesungguhnya setiap yang buruk itu datangnya dari kelemahan dan keburukan kita sendiri, dan kita hanya mampu merancang, tetapi tuhan sahaja yang mampu menentukan.

Well, perhaps u kids cud see this as one of those ‘How I Met Your Mother’ sitcoms except in different, much boring context, haha. But bear dis is mind, I love u from the deep of my heart, and any decision that I’ll make in life is based on securing u a much better, brighter future, InsyaAllah.

Why am I doing this? Why do I write my own blog? Is it bcos I want to express my ideas, my feelings, well, dat may be true, but the main thing is I just wanna make sure u guys, my beloveds know what is going thru to my head, once when im was alive.

Seriusly, im the kind of person who always believes that death can come whenever, wherever it wanted which is an definitely an undeniable truth. The angel of death, is never compassionate, and we cud never delay death even for a second. Everyone have their own dateline to meet God, and we NEVER know when, and before I go, I just wanna make sure that u know that I was once alive, I was once a friend, fighting along u guys in order to overcome one of the hardest obstacles in life, with sweat overflowing and blood pumping with adrenaline thru our thick veins, remember that I was once a colleague that share the same load, the same driving force to accomplish the task given by our superiors, remember me as a teammate, sharing this same sweat and tears of pain and glory on the pitch, a companion that accompany you throughout this amazing, wonderful journey, a loyal citizen who is sworn to protect this country from any evil means; only wish it to be harmony and prosperous that held a better future for u guys to live in, a humble servant who is often lack of consistency and often swayed in fulfilling His orders,  and most importantly im just normal human whu was once alive and breathe the same air as u guys had now, and for all these reminder I have in mind, I wanna say it, I wanna share for I believe that sharing is caring, and contributing to society doesn’t mean it can’t be achieved when we’re no longer in this world. Whu said that u must possess a physical, healthy body to inspire people, to change the world? No, but it's in the spirit, in your burning passion to spread the ideas and ur beliefs is what keeps the fighting on. I may not be influential enough, or had not contributed anything to society yet, dan I may had not taken any actions towards that way, but like I always said, keinginan tu tetap ada, haha.

Life is full of hardships, and I just finished pursuing my degree, and Ive gotta admit, im lost, and I cant see any road or pavement that I can walk on, only uncertainties and ignorance in my mind, but I can see the light far ahead, and what’s more important my beloveds, is that, never afraid of moving forward, and please give it a try, make an effort and give ur best shot, berusaha dan bertawakal, kerana Allah menjanjikan kejayaan kepada mereka yang berusaha, and it’s always never too late to make effort :-)

Right now, im so busy to find a job, and my mind is more occupied with worries of where am I going to spend the next maybe 5-10 years in the future, thus the problem of trying to find your mum is best I put it aside, for now, haha. There are lots of things I wanna accomplish right now, lots of things going thru my head, and lots of possibilities that’s about to happen, and one of my important crossroads throughout my life is about to occur, but insyaAllah I will make thru it in one piece, I love you guys, my beloved, my new found family, the old ones, fellas, all of you, like I always had.