Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? I am feeling kinda sentimental tonight, maybe it's because the over dosage of caffeine I suppose, nevertheless, im writing tonight (or early morning?) solely because it's snowing outside.
Yeah, it snows, why it's a big deal to me?Hmm, probably because Ive been living in Malaysia my whole life and I never, ever had the chance to fully experience one of God's wonders that beyond the capability of men; yeah, there may be sum sort of artificial snow in Genting, but it's not the same; for human creation always has its flaws and errors.
Snow, being very beautiful and scenic, is pretty much coold to begin with. The fact that I was shivering strongly even with the heater turned on gave me quite a headache, pretty much stirs up the reason to not ever coming here again. You see, back then in Malaysia, I was never good with cold things, I literally hate cold; and I dint know why. I don't drink cold drinks and my room is pretty much hot and any friends that came would definitely sweat, except me dat is. My body had been adapting to this kind of temperature for quite some time. And ironically, unbeknownst to my sane mind, I had choose Glasgow to further my studies. Not being able to cope up with this extreme weather definitely had taken its toll on me for few weeks, but as I started to play football almost 2 hours every week, and having to walk to classes and SUMSA (Strathclyde University Muslim Student Association) place for prayers, definitely had strengthen my body and had made me become more comfortable with the current weather.
The first few things that I realized about snow is that it's beautiful and yet simple; because the fact is that snow is just a collective of water, transformed and hardened into ice and falls down to earth; but God had made it soo beautiful that it perfected, thus it gave us an idea that even such simplest thing, if were to be acting on a huge amount, on much larger scale, it can be very graceful and captivating, so beautiful as well being breath-taking to any naive, humble and simplistic yet touching the heart to the eyes of beholder.
People had asked me "seronok main snow?" and I'd rather say not for I am enjoying this alone. It was kinda lonely to be witnessing something reaaaally-really great and awesome as this by yourself. God's best wonders in the world are not meant to be watched and gasped for your eyes only. It takes friends, and family members to share these experiences. I never liked being alone, I never did. It sucks, big time. The snow is not alone as well, when it fell on the surface of the earth, it comes in large bundle, a huge amount of quantity that becomes so beautiful and could cause impact and affect people's hearts, affecting enough for them to get out from their cozy warmness of the blanket and hot, expensive, money-draining heater to be showered and emblazoned with cold in the middle of the night; thus i concluded it is affecting enough to touch other people's hearts. I wanna be like snow too, I want to make impact on the world, to be successful, not alone, but having my friends and companions fighting on the same path to success, and we will become a role models, and example to each one and another; to be more successful in life; and I want to do this, together, like snow.
I realized, one of the significance of having snow showering this humble earth is a sign to human, a lesson for men, and a great reflection on our daily life. You see, life and snow is pretty much inter related; for hardships and obstacles that we face in life is like the cold that nobody wanted, and it's kinda suck to have to undergo all these for the target we wanted to acquire; and snow, is pretty much the success, the beauty of achieving something we desired sooo long and the cold, or obstacles only made our victory much sweeter.The good things in life, the better and the best is yet to come, but there's always a price that we must pay, and effort we have to show, something that we must give away in order to feel whatever the good things we wanna feel.
Kids, I wills study hard, hopefully. I will always love you guys like I always had.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Five Minutes Song Duration of Writing (Pearl Jam - Last Kiss)
Assalamualaikum kids, how's life? Hmm, I know, my introduction had always been the same, kind dull eh? Haha, but I believe this too, that in life, this small seem no meaningful things are the little things that we sought after.
Recently, I watched this advertisement, on the net, on the social networking website, regardless what ever you guys will call it in the future, but mine was pretty much addicting enough. So, the advertisement was about sumone, an Indian woman, who seem to be in her late 50's I guess. At that moment, she was about to give a speech at her husband's funeral. It started to sound absurd and ridiculously funny at first, but then as the speech rolled on, people started to realize the message she was trying to convey.
At first she told, at her husband's funeral, how hard his husband farted at night, during sleep, and how his snoring sounded like, almost identical to a revving sound of a motorboat (or car?) engine. However, these small things are the little things she miss, these trivial matters are the sign, the indication that her husband was alive; and she can proceed her day with these trivial, that may seem ridiculously funny for others, but the most valuable and precious for her; and these what made her day. And now, ever since her husband had passed away, she's been realizing this, how significant, and distinctive it was to her; and it may sounded funny but there's nothnig she can do except but to sadly reminiscing and laughing amused at the thoughts, these funny memorabilia of her late husband.
People...wait, that's kinda unfair to collectively judge people; okay, I am one of those who always take things for granted. Ever since I was a kid, I realize, that there's no way you could ever cheat death, and as a muslim, I always believe that death, can always come in whatever way, or whatever methods that can be unthinkable to the logic of the limited brain capacity of men, and it can strike at whatever time regardless whether we're prepared or not.
When I was a kid, I always had a fight with your wan (gramma) and usually it will involves her not buying the toys that I wanted. And I usually would persuade her for days, and months,; yeah, dont judge me, i wont let you guys do the same, haha, neway, most of the time, when she was fed up or really stressed out at work with her other problems, and with me adding up to the stress she already had at her limit, she would suddenly take a car and drive somewhere, gone. I hate it when she did that, because of the fact I strongly believe that death can happen anytime, anywhere and to anyone God chooses to. And, to top it off, I watched too many Japanese serial dramas, malay soap operas, cerekarama, telenovela...no, i am not drama addict, no, haha, it's just that these stories, they usually end up in tragedies.
And I believe that all of us, will never want to depart with our loved ones in a strong, aggressive, argumentative confrontations, because I loved her, I really do, it's just that I can be very selfish at times and I pray to God not to execute my selfishness with unbearable tragedy that I could really figure out.
Life is very valuable, as well as your relationship to others; it's important to love yourself and at the same time loving your family and friends, and build up good relationship with your colleagues of different races, cultures and creed. Treat others the way you wanted to be treated, and with God's grace you will end up fine, even without me around.
Regardless of whatever argumentation, confrontation, or discussions we had, or even we're unable to embrace each other in the last counting minutes on earth, and holding onto each other for a little while seems to be the most, longest precious moments we had, or if else fails; I will always love you like I always had.
Recently, I watched this advertisement, on the net, on the social networking website, regardless what ever you guys will call it in the future, but mine was pretty much addicting enough. So, the advertisement was about sumone, an Indian woman, who seem to be in her late 50's I guess. At that moment, she was about to give a speech at her husband's funeral. It started to sound absurd and ridiculously funny at first, but then as the speech rolled on, people started to realize the message she was trying to convey.
At first she told, at her husband's funeral, how hard his husband farted at night, during sleep, and how his snoring sounded like, almost identical to a revving sound of a motorboat (or car?) engine. However, these small things are the little things she miss, these trivial matters are the sign, the indication that her husband was alive; and she can proceed her day with these trivial, that may seem ridiculously funny for others, but the most valuable and precious for her; and these what made her day. And now, ever since her husband had passed away, she's been realizing this, how significant, and distinctive it was to her; and it may sounded funny but there's nothnig she can do except but to sadly reminiscing and laughing amused at the thoughts, these funny memorabilia of her late husband.
People...wait, that's kinda unfair to collectively judge people; okay, I am one of those who always take things for granted. Ever since I was a kid, I realize, that there's no way you could ever cheat death, and as a muslim, I always believe that death, can always come in whatever way, or whatever methods that can be unthinkable to the logic of the limited brain capacity of men, and it can strike at whatever time regardless whether we're prepared or not.
When I was a kid, I always had a fight with your wan (gramma) and usually it will involves her not buying the toys that I wanted. And I usually would persuade her for days, and months,; yeah, dont judge me, i wont let you guys do the same, haha, neway, most of the time, when she was fed up or really stressed out at work with her other problems, and with me adding up to the stress she already had at her limit, she would suddenly take a car and drive somewhere, gone. I hate it when she did that, because of the fact I strongly believe that death can happen anytime, anywhere and to anyone God chooses to. And, to top it off, I watched too many Japanese serial dramas, malay soap operas, cerekarama, telenovela...no, i am not drama addict, no, haha, it's just that these stories, they usually end up in tragedies.
And I believe that all of us, will never want to depart with our loved ones in a strong, aggressive, argumentative confrontations, because I loved her, I really do, it's just that I can be very selfish at times and I pray to God not to execute my selfishness with unbearable tragedy that I could really figure out.
Life is very valuable, as well as your relationship to others; it's important to love yourself and at the same time loving your family and friends, and build up good relationship with your colleagues of different races, cultures and creed. Treat others the way you wanted to be treated, and with God's grace you will end up fine, even without me around.
Regardless of whatever argumentation, confrontation, or discussions we had, or even we're unable to embrace each other in the last counting minutes on earth, and holding onto each other for a little while seems to be the most, longest precious moments we had, or if else fails; I will always love you like I always had.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Salam Maal Hijrah
Assalamualaikum kids? Em, Im kinda speechless today, but nevertheless, it wont stop me from saying things. Today is Maal Hijrah, a new year in the Islamic calendar. It's a fresh start all over again. Talking about fresh start, I was among the fortunate ones, to be given the opportunity to press the hypothetical 'restart' button in my life, and all the f**ked up things that I did, I was given the chance to redo and redo and redo it all over again.
But my question is, why, on what logic basis for us human to continue making the same mistake all over again when we know such thing is hazardous, endangering and threatening to ourselves? What kind of mental model do we adapt for us to adapt such way? Does the world capitalism lead to these bad things; these negativity bottled up in one rotting soul? is it the overpopulation? is it the question of faith? is it the question of phase and period? or perhaps could this be just an illusion to make things complicated? what gives? I too dont seem to find the real answer behind it.
Recently, i had a discussion, with people we had dialogues but i was pretty much keeping things to myself, i was scared, i was afraid to speak up, i was overly conscious, and having practice giving presentations in classes and training still cant help me overcome my public anxiety. I kept things quiet until the end. I was the less productive, the most non contributing person in the class, however until the end, i tried summing up all the things they said.
All the things that happened in this world, is because of us, it is because of ourselves; we choose to walk on the route to wherever we're going today, and by God's grace, we're reaching there; and if the world is overpopulated, if the world is becoming congested, if the world had suddenly fall upon us, IT ALL HAPPENS BECAUSE WE CHOOSE TO BE IN THAT WAY, and there's no way winging it. We are what we are today because we choose to be that way, and why procrastinate? If we dont like what we are today, so step up and make the right decision that will befit your soul and soothes your heart, but let me tell you this; those things that we thought are the best things for us could end up being the other way around, and vice versa.
We never know about the future, but know this; sesungguhnya setiap yang baik itu datangnya dari Allah s.w.t. dan setiap yang buruk itu datangnya dari kelemahan dan kekurangan diri kita sendiri. I cant say much kids, u know the decisions you're going to take, and i hope you guys will be wise enough in making decisions for those are the traits that i dont have and i've always sought after. Love your life kids, if you're thinking you're making the wrong turn in life, u can always go backtrack. And if you're lost, there's always the Quran and Hadith to guide you back on the right track. I will love you guys, like I always had :-)
But my question is, why, on what logic basis for us human to continue making the same mistake all over again when we know such thing is hazardous, endangering and threatening to ourselves? What kind of mental model do we adapt for us to adapt such way? Does the world capitalism lead to these bad things; these negativity bottled up in one rotting soul? is it the overpopulation? is it the question of faith? is it the question of phase and period? or perhaps could this be just an illusion to make things complicated? what gives? I too dont seem to find the real answer behind it.
Recently, i had a discussion, with people we had dialogues but i was pretty much keeping things to myself, i was scared, i was afraid to speak up, i was overly conscious, and having practice giving presentations in classes and training still cant help me overcome my public anxiety. I kept things quiet until the end. I was the less productive, the most non contributing person in the class, however until the end, i tried summing up all the things they said.
All the things that happened in this world, is because of us, it is because of ourselves; we choose to walk on the route to wherever we're going today, and by God's grace, we're reaching there; and if the world is overpopulated, if the world is becoming congested, if the world had suddenly fall upon us, IT ALL HAPPENS BECAUSE WE CHOOSE TO BE IN THAT WAY, and there's no way winging it. We are what we are today because we choose to be that way, and why procrastinate? If we dont like what we are today, so step up and make the right decision that will befit your soul and soothes your heart, but let me tell you this; those things that we thought are the best things for us could end up being the other way around, and vice versa.
We never know about the future, but know this; sesungguhnya setiap yang baik itu datangnya dari Allah s.w.t. dan setiap yang buruk itu datangnya dari kelemahan dan kekurangan diri kita sendiri. I cant say much kids, u know the decisions you're going to take, and i hope you guys will be wise enough in making decisions for those are the traits that i dont have and i've always sought after. Love your life kids, if you're thinking you're making the wrong turn in life, u can always go backtrack. And if you're lost, there's always the Quran and Hadith to guide you back on the right track. I will love you guys, like I always had :-)
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Five Minutes Song Duration of Writing (Maher Zain - The Chosen One)
Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Haha, today, i met with this lovely, beautiful kid and her parents are faithful Libyans. And of course, almost like emotional father, or maybe the sense of parenthood just started to kick in, or whatever the feeling im having at that time, I know i want to have it with you; and seeing how much I enjoy seeing the kid, I cant imagine how thrilled I am to see you guys, my beloved kids growing up.
maybe, you guys often wonder; "why the heck that this blogs is full of sum crap parenting advice?" or "what is he talking gibberish about? family? kids? damn it man! You're just 24 and u dont even have your own job yet, and you cant even take care of yourself and you want to have family" or perhaps "apa benda la mamat ni, ingat senang ke nak ada keluarga, nak ada tanggungjawab?"
As much as the answers are pretty much not on my side, and as much I want to have those capabilities, those traits of a father, I DON'T and that's fact. I just don't, at least for the near future, BUT that doesnt mean I am giving up; giving up my desires to have a family; giving up my desires to see you guys grow up, and become a better person in society, the desire to bear ALL these responsibility.
I believe, the most valuable essence, the basis, the strength to become a father, bearing such huge responsibility is to have the desire, to want to become one. I will continue to make effort, to get my message through, to have the burning passion and desire for my offspring, and I will continue doing so even when I am no longer breathing, even when I am only living in your heart and precious memories.
One of the key aspects in life is making decisions, that is derived by the desire to want to accomplish the things we think is the utmost valuable to us; and just remember that every options that we choose, has its consequences, and remember too for every fiery, burning desire that we decided to put off, will only make the surrounding darker, and before we're about to be swallowed, emblazoned in the pitch black, step up and make actions and the right decision to light it up again; who knows, the future that once may seem so dark is now brightly lid!
We never know the things that are gonna strike us, and things, happened, unexpectedly. However, we could make effort, and pray for the best. If God's willing, I will meet you one day kid, and let's hope I dont forget the feelings I had today. I will always, will always love you, like I always had :-)
maybe, you guys often wonder; "why the heck that this blogs is full of sum crap parenting advice?" or "what is he talking gibberish about? family? kids? damn it man! You're just 24 and u dont even have your own job yet, and you cant even take care of yourself and you want to have family" or perhaps "apa benda la mamat ni, ingat senang ke nak ada keluarga, nak ada tanggungjawab?"
As much as the answers are pretty much not on my side, and as much I want to have those capabilities, those traits of a father, I DON'T and that's fact. I just don't, at least for the near future, BUT that doesnt mean I am giving up; giving up my desires to have a family; giving up my desires to see you guys grow up, and become a better person in society, the desire to bear ALL these responsibility.
I believe, the most valuable essence, the basis, the strength to become a father, bearing such huge responsibility is to have the desire, to want to become one. I will continue to make effort, to get my message through, to have the burning passion and desire for my offspring, and I will continue doing so even when I am no longer breathing, even when I am only living in your heart and precious memories.
One of the key aspects in life is making decisions, that is derived by the desire to want to accomplish the things we think is the utmost valuable to us; and just remember that every options that we choose, has its consequences, and remember too for every fiery, burning desire that we decided to put off, will only make the surrounding darker, and before we're about to be swallowed, emblazoned in the pitch black, step up and make actions and the right decision to light it up again; who knows, the future that once may seem so dark is now brightly lid!
We never know the things that are gonna strike us, and things, happened, unexpectedly. However, we could make effort, and pray for the best. If God's willing, I will meet you one day kid, and let's hope I dont forget the feelings I had today. I will always, will always love you, like I always had :-)
Monday, November 21, 2011
Five Minutes Song Duration of Writing (Maher Zain - Freedom)
Assalamualaikum kids, how's life? For Freedom? I dont know what to say tho, there are so many things you can say about freedom, but there are just times when ironic speaks, and you dont really know about things or important matters that u once tot u know it so much, so briefly.
'Freedom' , is one those powerful words that walk side to side with 'integrity', 'passion' , 'faith' and other things any one could think of. The people of Malaysia, had been fighting so hard, and they had sacrificed so many things regardless of they realizing it or not, sacrifices in terms of direct or indirect, knowing or unknowingly they had offer things that they believe will contribute to the betterment of this country, to the things they believe in, to to things that they have 'faith' on, those things that keeps on their 'drive' and 'passion' burning; all these things they believe in only reflects deeply on how their true colors are, their inner-self, their 'integrity'.
Freedom had definitely plays an important role in our life, being free and being able to do the things that we wanted is what we thought we sought but let's face it, only by obeying God's rule can we become truly free. I am definitely not one of those people who have the ability to preach or teach others, but I would like to think that I am when I was once alive, I had created posts or write things that inspire people to change and find their true freedom.
Being muslim, our definition of freedom can be somewhat perplexing for the atheis, for people who of different creeds and beliefs; they often ask how can by preventing to do so many things, how can by putting up so many restrictions and had to obey lotsa rules in islam can one be considered free? That's one of the question I often ask, but dont worry, my faith is not shaken, but only to be very determined to show how freedom really is, at least from my perspective as muslim.
God had definitely have His way in guiding us, without we realizing it or not, but often we did not, and I too am one of those unfortunate ones. At times, I was never thankful for the things that I had, never realized what a precious gem I've been holding on, only to realize the worth of it once it's already gone. I believe, Islam put up such restrictions as guidelines; and us, the humble servant of God tends to screw up and make mistakes in life, thus Allah knows what is best for us.
I cant be more preachy than today, for sum reason, I just cant; for my knowledge is superbly inadequate, and the knowledge I accumulated until today cant even be compared to the tiny droplets of water in the ocean. Kids, grow up to be a better person in life, and remember, love your parents too, cause I love you guys, like I always had.
'Freedom' , is one those powerful words that walk side to side with 'integrity', 'passion' , 'faith' and other things any one could think of. The people of Malaysia, had been fighting so hard, and they had sacrificed so many things regardless of they realizing it or not, sacrifices in terms of direct or indirect, knowing or unknowingly they had offer things that they believe will contribute to the betterment of this country, to the things they believe in, to to things that they have 'faith' on, those things that keeps on their 'drive' and 'passion' burning; all these things they believe in only reflects deeply on how their true colors are, their inner-self, their 'integrity'.
Freedom had definitely plays an important role in our life, being free and being able to do the things that we wanted is what we thought we sought but let's face it, only by obeying God's rule can we become truly free. I am definitely not one of those people who have the ability to preach or teach others, but I would like to think that I am when I was once alive, I had created posts or write things that inspire people to change and find their true freedom.
Being muslim, our definition of freedom can be somewhat perplexing for the atheis, for people who of different creeds and beliefs; they often ask how can by preventing to do so many things, how can by putting up so many restrictions and had to obey lotsa rules in islam can one be considered free? That's one of the question I often ask, but dont worry, my faith is not shaken, but only to be very determined to show how freedom really is, at least from my perspective as muslim.
God had definitely have His way in guiding us, without we realizing it or not, but often we did not, and I too am one of those unfortunate ones. At times, I was never thankful for the things that I had, never realized what a precious gem I've been holding on, only to realize the worth of it once it's already gone. I believe, Islam put up such restrictions as guidelines; and us, the humble servant of God tends to screw up and make mistakes in life, thus Allah knows what is best for us.
I cant be more preachy than today, for sum reason, I just cant; for my knowledge is superbly inadequate, and the knowledge I accumulated until today cant even be compared to the tiny droplets of water in the ocean. Kids, grow up to be a better person in life, and remember, love your parents too, cause I love you guys, like I always had.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Five Minutes Song Duration of Writing (Westlife - I Had a Dream)
Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Haha, from now on I wanna start to introduce sumthing random, yeah, im gonna try to write anything dat comes up to my fickle minded mind as I hear to random, favorite songs in my music playlist. So, anything dat comes up is pretty much random after all, based on the songs that I listened.
Okay, so here goes....I have a dream, of making the world a better place for us to live in, maybe I cant contribute much to society yet, and as much as I want to, there are just excuses and procrastination dat comes up, created regardless of my intention tho.
I know this may be naive, like "what the heck mate?" or "why? are the world we currently live in is not good enough for you?" those negative perspective definitely stir up, but still, it's of course is much easier to just succumb and dive into negative ideas, stay relax and do nothing at home, but I am not one of those people, I hope, i tried to remind myself, that I want to contribute, I want to make people happy, I enjoy a win-win situation and i hate seeing tears of pain and bloodshed especially in my home country, I hate the fact that people starts to segregate themselves into different political parties, opinions and thoughts make them so divided, they focus on their differences rather the things that they had in common, or just realize that each one is trying to survive just as well, just trying to live, and should we realize too that without them, we dont exist. we should acknowledge the fact that their existence complements our lives, our short, fragile life that is such a waste to spend it on being angry and pissed off all the time.
I love people, i love friends, I may not look like a friendly people, but I realized that too, apart from family, these strangers who I met along the way, along the route, sepanjang perjuangan ini, these people who fight shoulder to shoulder with me, these people who helped me in achieving to become a better person, a better man, a better muslim in life, these people, i endearingly hold onto, these people who I called friends, I cant convey how thankful I am, and only be able to express it, soliloquizing it to myself that after family and blood relationship, u guys are the most valuable thing I sought after. And as life goes on, people will change, they wont stay by yourside any longer, and good friends depart but good friends arrive as well, or so they said.
Time's up, I need to go now kids. Ciao! Assalamualaikum, and I will always love you guys like I always had :-)))
Okay, so here goes....I have a dream, of making the world a better place for us to live in, maybe I cant contribute much to society yet, and as much as I want to, there are just excuses and procrastination dat comes up, created regardless of my intention tho.
I know this may be naive, like "what the heck mate?" or "why? are the world we currently live in is not good enough for you?" those negative perspective definitely stir up, but still, it's of course is much easier to just succumb and dive into negative ideas, stay relax and do nothing at home, but I am not one of those people, I hope, i tried to remind myself, that I want to contribute, I want to make people happy, I enjoy a win-win situation and i hate seeing tears of pain and bloodshed especially in my home country, I hate the fact that people starts to segregate themselves into different political parties, opinions and thoughts make them so divided, they focus on their differences rather the things that they had in common, or just realize that each one is trying to survive just as well, just trying to live, and should we realize too that without them, we dont exist. we should acknowledge the fact that their existence complements our lives, our short, fragile life that is such a waste to spend it on being angry and pissed off all the time.
I love people, i love friends, I may not look like a friendly people, but I realized that too, apart from family, these strangers who I met along the way, along the route, sepanjang perjuangan ini, these people who fight shoulder to shoulder with me, these people who helped me in achieving to become a better person, a better man, a better muslim in life, these people, i endearingly hold onto, these people who I called friends, I cant convey how thankful I am, and only be able to express it, soliloquizing it to myself that after family and blood relationship, u guys are the most valuable thing I sought after. And as life goes on, people will change, they wont stay by yourside any longer, and good friends depart but good friends arrive as well, or so they said.
Time's up, I need to go now kids. Ciao! Assalamualaikum, and I will always love you guys like I always had :-)))
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Random Thoughts....Like Again
Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Today, we're gonna approach life, from maybe a slightly different perspective, another angle, so that we will always have this new, up and fresh ideas about things dat happen in our daily life. And today, I feel like giving sum sort of inspirational talk, as a boost to your self esteem, as well improving mine. Lets roll.
Rasulullah SAW bersabda, “Sampaikanlah dari ku walaupun hanya satu ayat.” Hadis Riwayat Ahmad, Bukhari, Tarmidzi. dan sayang sekali, dalam keghairahan ayah menekan kekunci keyboard selama ini, jarang sekali ayah menyampaikan pesanan dan dakwahnya. Maka maafkan ayah; Ill try better next time.
Kita semua mengejar cinta, mengejar pasangan hidup yang kita dambakan. Apabila kamu kembali ke tempat asal kamu, ayah nak kamu pergi berjumpa sesiapa, sesiapa sahaja, dan katakan yang kamu sukakan mereka, katakan kamu cintakan mereka, dan ingin menghabiskan masa kamu pada masa hadapan bersamanya, dan pastikan orang itu bukan ahli keluarga kita; orang asing semestinya, dan katakan di tengah khalayak ramai.
Tidak masuk akal? Gila? Sememangnya!
Tapi apa rasionalnya ayah menyuruh kamu berbuat demikian? Ketika kita terlalu asyik mengungkapkan kata cinta pada hambaNya, kita jarang sekali mengucapkan rasa cinta pada Penciptanya; dan ingat lah juga, ketika hambaNya sentiasa menolak cinta kita, Allah tidak pernah sekali menolak rasa kasih kita padaNya dan pintu taubat itu sentiasa terbuka.
I dont really have many other things to say currently except the fact that, I may had not become a good father thruout the years, and I cant help but saying sorry profusely; dan mengatakan setiap yang buruk itu datangnya dari kelemahan ayah sendiri.
Love you guys, will always, like I always had :-)
Rasulullah SAW bersabda, “Sampaikanlah dari ku walaupun hanya satu ayat.” Hadis Riwayat Ahmad, Bukhari, Tarmidzi. dan sayang sekali, dalam keghairahan ayah menekan kekunci keyboard selama ini, jarang sekali ayah menyampaikan pesanan dan dakwahnya. Maka maafkan ayah; Ill try better next time.
Kita semua mengejar cinta, mengejar pasangan hidup yang kita dambakan. Apabila kamu kembali ke tempat asal kamu, ayah nak kamu pergi berjumpa sesiapa, sesiapa sahaja, dan katakan yang kamu sukakan mereka, katakan kamu cintakan mereka, dan ingin menghabiskan masa kamu pada masa hadapan bersamanya, dan pastikan orang itu bukan ahli keluarga kita; orang asing semestinya, dan katakan di tengah khalayak ramai.
Tidak masuk akal? Gila? Sememangnya!
Tapi apa rasionalnya ayah menyuruh kamu berbuat demikian? Ketika kita terlalu asyik mengungkapkan kata cinta pada hambaNya, kita jarang sekali mengucapkan rasa cinta pada Penciptanya; dan ingat lah juga, ketika hambaNya sentiasa menolak cinta kita, Allah tidak pernah sekali menolak rasa kasih kita padaNya dan pintu taubat itu sentiasa terbuka.
I dont really have many other things to say currently except the fact that, I may had not become a good father thruout the years, and I cant help but saying sorry profusely; dan mengatakan setiap yang buruk itu datangnya dari kelemahan ayah sendiri.
Love you guys, will always, like I always had :-)
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Another Chance I Guess
Ada orang pernah bertanya pada ayah, kenapa kita sentiasa menagih cinta apabila kita sedar bahawa cinta itu membutakan? dan dalam keghairahan kita mengejar cinta, kita terlalu taksub dengannya sehingga kita mengalpakan cinta dariNya. Apabila cinta hambaNya tidak lagi dapat kita tagihi, kita lantas menadah tangan meminta kepadaNya agar kembali ke dalam terjerumus dalam keadaan yang pada dasarnya kita fikir tidak berdosa malahan ramai yang mengelarnya sebagai cinta sejati, tetapi sebenarnya hanyalah suatu fasa sementara dan alasan untuk kita bergelumang dengan nafsu; dan lebih pelik lagi, walaupun kita sedar dengan setiap keburukan dan kekurangan yang akan kita hadapi, KENAPA kita masih memilih cinta itu? Ketepikan buat sementara kisah orang lain, ini cerita kita, cerita ayah pada anak-anaknya dengan tujuan memberi iktibar, dan memikirkan kembali pengalaman lalu, betapa sesatnya ayah ketika itu, betapa patutnya terjadi perkara yang terjadi itu terjadi peristiwa yang sangat memalukan; setiap kejadian itu ada hikmahnya, dan ini adalah peringatan pada diri ayah sendiri, supaya jangan terlalu ghairah mengejar cinta yang tidak pasti, sehingga mengorbankan prinsip dan peribadi seorang muslim. Ayah cuba tak buat lagi. Ayah sentiasa sayangkan kamu , like I always had.
Monday, October 17, 2011
It's Kinda Cole Eh?
Assalamuaalaikum kids? How's life? Its kinda cold eh? Nope? Haha, must be the weather here...I guess. Hmm, what shall we talk about today? I dont really have any ideas tho, not now I guess. Its pretty much the same when people ask me questions and for sum unknown reason, i find myself clenching my fist just to get the right answers thru, but in normal conditions, under normal situations without any circumstances, my mind when faaaar, as far as I could reach, and suddenly the world is indeed, metaphorically speaking, is sumthing i grasp on.
People, friends, family, and new friends I met along the way had always ask me this; "WHY?", "KENAPA?" or maybe in a much colloquial manner "AWAT HANG MAI SINI? CUBA HABAQ CEK SKET!?" or for east coast people "MU TUBIQ SINI NAK GOCOH GAPO?" er...okay, ayah hentam je dat last part, nevertheless it gets the point thru.
There are many things that I mentioned here, wait...maybe all of them, all of the "hybrid theory" (this is actually a name for one of Linkin Park's hit album, so pun intended) can be find, at the basic of Islam, niat, or nawaitu kita. Apakah nawaitu ayah ketika hadir ke sini? sightseeing? cari awek mat salleh? mungkin ada, haha, taak, of course not, tapi I have my reasons, my niat, my nawaitu, and that is to seek knowledge so that, with God's grace I will have that qualification and knowledge to work in the energy sector and other things but I prefer to keep it to myself for the time being.
As I enrolled in this course, as i enter this country, my sense of awareness of energy, heat, and environment had increased tremendously. And all the energy-related issues suddenly kicks in, and I start to have certain views and ideas, which may seem rhetorically rubbish in this early stage, but still, lets just say its a beginning of sumthing great, haha
People too had ask me this "kenapa pegi sana? Bawa diri ke?" or "tu la, tgk Hanafiah dah merajuk bawa diri ke sana" or sumthing similar I guess. Well, I cant say much about it, and I wont deny it either, I admit that sum part of me is frustrated, maybe annoyed or seems to be a bit tense about I dont know, maybe employment or sumthing, maybe about not being able to do sumthing real, I admit a part of me feels like I played too much, too much that I may had take this opportunity to run from my friends' success when me myself a failure, when I didnt do much, maybe by taking this course, it gives me sum time to get all my shit together, all the messed up and failures, all the times that I had spending making the journey on the wrong path in life, maybe this is just another way for me to retrack back to life. I just dont know kids, there are times I felt so lost, and quite many times I asked myself "Why the heck did I came here in the 1st place? Dah la bayar mahal, makan susah, buang air susah, lecturer cakap satu apa pun tak faham, belajar benda baru, susah lak lagi!" okay, i exaggerate a bit, but there are times i do felt dat way.
When I came to Glasgow, the sunday on the 1st week I reached there, I met my lecturer, En Hafizi. He said this to me "Tiada apa yang mudah, dan kelemahan kita orang Melayu ialah cepat sangat untuk mengatakan tidak boleh, mudah mengalah, ini adalah sesuatu yang perlu kita ubah" or sumthing similar. I know many people had said this, even similar, but maybe during that situation I cant help but to reaaally heed his words; and kids, never ever feel afraid of the unknown and uncertainties, because you are not alone, I had been there, and I am still figuring my way out, but unfortunately, the process and the experience that I had here is sumthing that is beyond my limited vocabulary. I am still searching the answers to all the questions, but I know one part of the questions; I AM NOT RUNNING AWAY! I believe this is one of God's will, one of His ways answering to my prayer of wanting to improve and finding a way for the sake of bettering myself.
I really need to find your mum soon. Part of the answers lie within her, and you guys too. I will always love you guys like I always had.
People, friends, family, and new friends I met along the way had always ask me this; "WHY?", "KENAPA?" or maybe in a much colloquial manner "AWAT HANG MAI SINI? CUBA HABAQ CEK SKET!?" or for east coast people "MU TUBIQ SINI NAK GOCOH GAPO?" er...okay, ayah hentam je dat last part, nevertheless it gets the point thru.
There are many things that I mentioned here, wait...maybe all of them, all of the "hybrid theory" (this is actually a name for one of Linkin Park's hit album, so pun intended) can be find, at the basic of Islam, niat, or nawaitu kita. Apakah nawaitu ayah ketika hadir ke sini? sightseeing? cari awek mat salleh? mungkin ada, haha, taak, of course not, tapi I have my reasons, my niat, my nawaitu, and that is to seek knowledge so that, with God's grace I will have that qualification and knowledge to work in the energy sector and other things but I prefer to keep it to myself for the time being.
As I enrolled in this course, as i enter this country, my sense of awareness of energy, heat, and environment had increased tremendously. And all the energy-related issues suddenly kicks in, and I start to have certain views and ideas, which may seem rhetorically rubbish in this early stage, but still, lets just say its a beginning of sumthing great, haha
People too had ask me this "kenapa pegi sana? Bawa diri ke?" or "tu la, tgk Hanafiah dah merajuk bawa diri ke sana" or sumthing similar I guess. Well, I cant say much about it, and I wont deny it either, I admit that sum part of me is frustrated, maybe annoyed or seems to be a bit tense about I dont know, maybe employment or sumthing, maybe about not being able to do sumthing real, I admit a part of me feels like I played too much, too much that I may had take this opportunity to run from my friends' success when me myself a failure, when I didnt do much, maybe by taking this course, it gives me sum time to get all my shit together, all the messed up and failures, all the times that I had spending making the journey on the wrong path in life, maybe this is just another way for me to retrack back to life. I just dont know kids, there are times I felt so lost, and quite many times I asked myself "Why the heck did I came here in the 1st place? Dah la bayar mahal, makan susah, buang air susah, lecturer cakap satu apa pun tak faham, belajar benda baru, susah lak lagi!" okay, i exaggerate a bit, but there are times i do felt dat way.
When I came to Glasgow, the sunday on the 1st week I reached there, I met my lecturer, En Hafizi. He said this to me "Tiada apa yang mudah, dan kelemahan kita orang Melayu ialah cepat sangat untuk mengatakan tidak boleh, mudah mengalah, ini adalah sesuatu yang perlu kita ubah" or sumthing similar. I know many people had said this, even similar, but maybe during that situation I cant help but to reaaally heed his words; and kids, never ever feel afraid of the unknown and uncertainties, because you are not alone, I had been there, and I am still figuring my way out, but unfortunately, the process and the experience that I had here is sumthing that is beyond my limited vocabulary. I am still searching the answers to all the questions, but I know one part of the questions; I AM NOT RUNNING AWAY! I believe this is one of God's will, one of His ways answering to my prayer of wanting to improve and finding a way for the sake of bettering myself.
I really need to find your mum soon. Part of the answers lie within her, and you guys too. I will always love you guys like I always had.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
From Glasgow with Cold, Kilt, and er...Wind Turbines?
Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Em, for me things are doing fine here....I guess, to certain extend that is. Life's kinda cool here, er, cold here, and as much I hated cold back then in Malaysia, i find myself adapting quite well with the extreme pressure...eh, silap, temperature here (pressure pun ada sebenarnya :-D).
Back then, after SPM, i dont know what you guys will call it later, but mine was dat, and it never occurred to me to ever further my studies here. Ever since I failed my SPM miserably, the only thing dat came in my mind is what, or where I am going to further my studies, without having to put real burden on my mum, and the man question dat came next is how? The second question is the hardest to find, to solve, because with my qualifications, and grades, I pretty much sure there are not any place available for me.
I tried applying for matriculation course, swearing that if i got the same chance again I will not screw it up, because back then, it was the cheapest method I can get, and life was not easy back then as lots of things happened. I was really worried, ur wan (orang negri panggil wan) was worried as well. Deep down I realized that I had screw things up, it was my fault, for taking the chances that I get for granted, and here I am suffering the consequences. But it looks like fate had not allow me to take the path and I didnt get the chance for matriculation.
So, with screwed up mind in my head, I came across an advertisement on the paper; it was about study exhibition, MARA study expo. I hesitated, but thinking maybe I might as well check it out; who knows what fate had in its store for me. So, with few of my friends, and uncle Shauki, I went there, we check things out. And I came across UniKL for the first time, and heard about its matriculation, or foundation course, which they refer as Foundation in Engineering Technology and its located in Kolej MARA Kulim, Kedah. I applied, and the following week I received the reply, and I got it. I brought it up to ur wan and things are all good again.
And now, after a year graduating from UniKL Malaysian Institute of Aviation Technology, I was pretty much jobless, I went to few training like INSEP, and TeSSDE program, and I managed to work in Kemuncak Pesaka with your uncle Sufian for two months and a half I guess. Thinking back of the experience that I go through, the huge number of interviews which I rarely succeed, and the ups and down in the past few years, not to mention that searching for ur mum can be quite a pain in the ass, I cant be more thankful, I cant be.
Before I make the decision to come here, I often ask myself why is it relevant for me to fork out lotsa money, and put on huge effort in furthering my studies. I often ask myself too, why is that I wanna study this subject? And the answer came in slowly, and i kinda grasp the idea late, as usual, haha.
I know that, by having this degree, I can find better employment, in much better company. And with the knowledge I gain here, I will bring it back, hoping that somehow, some way, my knowledge can be used for the betterment of the life of my countrymen, and I have no intention of failing no matter how weak my knowledge is.
Before I came here, I was actually in a rush, and I dont had much time telling most of my friends. Well, I am quite a quiet person anyway, and as soon I attained the visa from VHF, I purchased the flying ticket on Friday evening, after coming back from MARA, and my mother had this small gathering between families on Saturday and I went off on Sunday.
There are lots, lots of people supporting me, and I admit, there are time, often that I doubt myself. I was never the same guy before, and after SPM, and that stigma had definitely taken its toll on me, on my confidence and how bring myself in public and society, but as the experience accumulates, I started to walk out of the shell, slowly but surely, and I admit, the view is pretty much different out here, out of the small, limited confined shell.
Before I came here, there are lots of people that had supported me, friends and family. And as I came here, I met lotsa new people too, and new friends. The best thing about being minority in a big, vast country, we Malaysians tend to look out for each other, and like I always had people looking out for me not only in Glasgow, but in Malaysia as well, and I thanked God for blessing my journey, fate had made me meet all these wonderful people, and letting them be part of my life.
Masa ayah sampai, I had few things, beberapa persoalan that came into my mind, but I think I'll save it for some other times. For my friends who are going to having their convocation this time around of the year, I would like to take time to convey my congratulations to you guys, and this will be one of my motivations in performing better in studies too. For my beloved friends and family, thanks for supporting me, I cant thank you guys enough. You guys are my giants, and I will always love you guys, like I always had.
Back then, after SPM, i dont know what you guys will call it later, but mine was dat, and it never occurred to me to ever further my studies here. Ever since I failed my SPM miserably, the only thing dat came in my mind is what, or where I am going to further my studies, without having to put real burden on my mum, and the man question dat came next is how? The second question is the hardest to find, to solve, because with my qualifications, and grades, I pretty much sure there are not any place available for me.
I tried applying for matriculation course, swearing that if i got the same chance again I will not screw it up, because back then, it was the cheapest method I can get, and life was not easy back then as lots of things happened. I was really worried, ur wan (orang negri panggil wan) was worried as well. Deep down I realized that I had screw things up, it was my fault, for taking the chances that I get for granted, and here I am suffering the consequences. But it looks like fate had not allow me to take the path and I didnt get the chance for matriculation.
So, with screwed up mind in my head, I came across an advertisement on the paper; it was about study exhibition, MARA study expo. I hesitated, but thinking maybe I might as well check it out; who knows what fate had in its store for me. So, with few of my friends, and uncle Shauki, I went there, we check things out. And I came across UniKL for the first time, and heard about its matriculation, or foundation course, which they refer as Foundation in Engineering Technology and its located in Kolej MARA Kulim, Kedah. I applied, and the following week I received the reply, and I got it. I brought it up to ur wan and things are all good again.
And now, after a year graduating from UniKL Malaysian Institute of Aviation Technology, I was pretty much jobless, I went to few training like INSEP, and TeSSDE program, and I managed to work in Kemuncak Pesaka with your uncle Sufian for two months and a half I guess. Thinking back of the experience that I go through, the huge number of interviews which I rarely succeed, and the ups and down in the past few years, not to mention that searching for ur mum can be quite a pain in the ass, I cant be more thankful, I cant be.
Before I make the decision to come here, I often ask myself why is it relevant for me to fork out lotsa money, and put on huge effort in furthering my studies. I often ask myself too, why is that I wanna study this subject? And the answer came in slowly, and i kinda grasp the idea late, as usual, haha.
I know that, by having this degree, I can find better employment, in much better company. And with the knowledge I gain here, I will bring it back, hoping that somehow, some way, my knowledge can be used for the betterment of the life of my countrymen, and I have no intention of failing no matter how weak my knowledge is.
Before I came here, I was actually in a rush, and I dont had much time telling most of my friends. Well, I am quite a quiet person anyway, and as soon I attained the visa from VHF, I purchased the flying ticket on Friday evening, after coming back from MARA, and my mother had this small gathering between families on Saturday and I went off on Sunday.
There are lots, lots of people supporting me, and I admit, there are time, often that I doubt myself. I was never the same guy before, and after SPM, and that stigma had definitely taken its toll on me, on my confidence and how bring myself in public and society, but as the experience accumulates, I started to walk out of the shell, slowly but surely, and I admit, the view is pretty much different out here, out of the small, limited confined shell.
Masa ayah sampai, I had few things, beberapa persoalan that came into my mind, but I think I'll save it for some other times. For my friends who are going to having their convocation this time around of the year, I would like to take time to convey my congratulations to you guys, and this will be one of my motivations in performing better in studies too. For my beloved friends and family, thanks for supporting me, I cant thank you guys enough. You guys are my giants, and I will always love you guys, like I always had.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
New Phase
Ayah dah lama sangat nak kata ni...
"Let's go Glasgow!"
Love you guys, like I always had :-)
"Let's go Glasgow!"
Love you guys, like I always had :-)
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