Five Minutes Song Duration of Writing (Maher Zain - Freedom)

Assalamualaikum kids, how's life? For Freedom? I dont know what to say tho, there are so many things you can say about freedom, but there are just times when ironic speaks, and you dont really know about things or important matters that u once tot u know it so much, so briefly.

'Freedom' , is one those powerful words that walk side to side with 'integrity', 'passion' , 'faith' and other things any one could think of. The people of Malaysia, had been fighting so hard, and they had sacrificed so many things regardless of they realizing it or not, sacrifices in terms of direct or indirect, knowing or unknowingly they had offer things that they believe will contribute to the betterment of this country, to the things they believe in, to to things that they have 'faith' on, those things that keeps on their 'drive' and 'passion' burning; all these things they believe in only reflects deeply on how their true colors are, their inner-self, their 'integrity'.

Freedom had definitely plays an important role in our life, being free and being able to do the things that we wanted is what we thought we sought but let's face it, only by obeying God's rule can we become truly free. I am definitely not one of those people who have the ability to preach or teach others, but I would like to think that I am when I was once alive, I had created posts or write things that inspire people to change and find their true freedom.

Being muslim, our definition of freedom can be somewhat perplexing for the atheis, for people who of different creeds and beliefs; they often ask how can by preventing to do so many things, how can by putting up so many restrictions and had to obey lotsa rules in islam can one be considered free?  That's one of the question I often ask, but dont worry, my faith is not shaken, but only to be very determined to show how freedom really is, at least from my perspective as muslim.

God had definitely have His way in guiding us, without we realizing it or not, but often we did not, and I too am one of those unfortunate ones. At times, I was never thankful for the things that I had, never realized what a precious gem I've been holding on, only to realize the worth of it once it's already gone. I believe, Islam put up such restrictions as guidelines; and us, the humble servant of God tends to screw up and make mistakes in life, thus Allah knows what is best for us.

I cant be more preachy than today, for sum reason, I just cant; for my knowledge is superbly inadequate, and the knowledge I accumulated until today cant even be compared to the tiny droplets of water in the ocean. Kids, grow up to be a better person in life, and remember, love your parents too, cause I love you guys, like I always had.

Five Minutes Song Duration of Writing (Westlife - I Had a Dream)

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Haha, from now on I wanna start to introduce sumthing random, yeah, im gonna try to write anything dat comes up to my fickle minded mind as I hear to random, favorite songs in my music playlist. So, anything dat comes up is pretty much random after all, based on the songs that I listened.

Okay, so here goes....I have a dream, of making the world a better place for us to live in, maybe I cant contribute much to society yet, and as much as I want to, there are just excuses and procrastination dat comes up, created regardless of my intention tho.

I know this may be naive, like "what the heck mate?" or "why? are the world we currently live in is not good enough for you?" those negative perspective definitely stir up, but still, it's of course is much easier to just succumb and dive into negative ideas, stay relax and do nothing at home, but I am not one of those people, I hope, i tried to remind myself, that I want to contribute, I want to make people happy, I enjoy a win-win situation and i hate seeing tears of pain and bloodshed especially in my home country, I hate the fact that people starts to segregate themselves into different political parties, opinions and thoughts make them so divided, they focus on their differences rather the things that they had in common, or just realize that each one is trying to survive just as well, just trying to live, and should we realize too that without them, we dont exist. we should acknowledge the fact that their existence complements our lives, our short, fragile life that is such a waste to spend it on being angry and pissed off all the time.

I love people, i love friends, I may not look like a friendly people, but I realized that too, apart from family, these strangers who I met along the way, along the route, sepanjang perjuangan ini, these people who fight shoulder to shoulder with me, these people who helped me in achieving to become a better person, a better man, a better muslim in life, these people, i endearingly hold onto, these people who I called friends, I cant convey how thankful I am, and only be able to express it, soliloquizing it to myself that after family and blood relationship, u guys are the most valuable thing I sought after. And as life goes on, people will change, they wont stay by yourside any longer, and good friends depart but good friends arrive as well, or so they said.

Time's up, I need to go now kids. Ciao! Assalamualaikum, and I will always love you guys like I always had :-)))

Random Thoughts....Like Again

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Today, we're gonna approach life, from maybe a slightly different perspective, another angle, so that we will always have this new, up and fresh ideas about things dat happen in our daily life. And today, I feel like giving sum sort of inspirational talk, as a boost to your self esteem, as well improving mine. Lets roll.


Rasulullah SAW bersabda, “Sampaikanlah dari ku walaupun hanya satu ayat.” Hadis Riwayat Ahmad, Bukhari, Tarmidzi. dan sayang sekali, dalam keghairahan ayah menekan kekunci keyboard selama ini, jarang sekali ayah menyampaikan pesanan dan dakwahnya.  Maka maafkan ayah; Ill try better next time.


Kita semua mengejar cinta, mengejar pasangan hidup yang kita dambakan. Apabila kamu kembali ke tempat asal kamu, ayah nak kamu pergi berjumpa sesiapa, sesiapa sahaja, dan katakan yang kamu sukakan mereka, katakan kamu cintakan mereka, dan ingin menghabiskan masa kamu pada masa hadapan bersamanya, dan pastikan orang itu bukan ahli keluarga kita; orang asing semestinya, dan katakan di tengah khalayak ramai.


Tidak masuk akal? Gila? Sememangnya! 


Tapi apa rasionalnya ayah menyuruh kamu berbuat demikian? Ketika kita terlalu asyik mengungkapkan kata cinta pada hambaNya, kita jarang sekali mengucapkan rasa cinta pada Penciptanya; dan ingat lah juga, ketika hambaNya sentiasa menolak cinta kita, Allah tidak pernah sekali menolak rasa kasih kita padaNya dan pintu taubat itu sentiasa terbuka.


I dont really have many other things to say currently except the fact that, I may had not become a good father thruout the years, and I cant help but saying sorry profusely; dan mengatakan setiap yang buruk itu datangnya dari kelemahan ayah sendiri. 


Love you guys, will always, like I always had :-) 

Another Chance I Guess

Ada orang pernah bertanya pada ayah, kenapa kita sentiasa menagih cinta apabila kita sedar bahawa cinta itu membutakan? dan dalam keghairahan kita mengejar cinta, kita terlalu taksub dengannya sehingga kita mengalpakan cinta dariNya. Apabila cinta hambaNya tidak lagi dapat kita tagihi, kita lantas menadah tangan meminta kepadaNya agar kembali ke dalam terjerumus dalam keadaan yang pada dasarnya kita fikir tidak berdosa malahan ramai yang mengelarnya sebagai cinta sejati, tetapi sebenarnya hanyalah suatu fasa sementara dan alasan untuk kita bergelumang dengan nafsu; dan lebih pelik lagi, walaupun kita sedar dengan setiap keburukan dan kekurangan yang akan kita hadapi, KENAPA kita masih memilih cinta itu? Ketepikan buat sementara kisah orang lain, ini cerita kita, cerita ayah pada anak-anaknya dengan tujuan memberi iktibar, dan memikirkan kembali pengalaman lalu, betapa sesatnya ayah ketika itu, betapa patutnya terjadi perkara yang terjadi itu terjadi peristiwa yang sangat memalukan; setiap kejadian itu ada hikmahnya, dan ini adalah peringatan pada diri ayah sendiri, supaya jangan terlalu ghairah mengejar cinta yang tidak pasti, sehingga mengorbankan prinsip dan peribadi seorang muslim. Ayah cuba tak buat lagi. Ayah sentiasa sayangkan kamu , like I always had.

It's Kinda Cole Eh?

Assalamuaalaikum kids? How's life? Its kinda cold eh? Nope? Haha, must be the weather here...I guess. Hmm, what shall we talk about today? I dont really have any ideas tho, not now I guess. Its pretty much the same when people ask me questions and for sum unknown reason, i find myself clenching my fist just to get the right answers thru, but in normal conditions, under normal situations without any circumstances, my mind when faaaar, as far as I could reach, and suddenly the world is indeed, metaphorically speaking, is sumthing i grasp on.

People, friends, family, and new friends I met along the way had always ask me this; "WHY?", "KENAPA?" or maybe in a much colloquial manner "AWAT HANG MAI SINI? CUBA HABAQ CEK SKET!?" or for east coast people "MU TUBIQ SINI NAK GOCOH GAPO?" er...okay, ayah hentam je dat last part, nevertheless it gets the point thru.

There are many things that I mentioned here, wait...maybe all of them, all of the "hybrid theory" (this is actually a name for one of Linkin Park's hit album, so pun intended) can be find, at the basic of Islam, niat, or nawaitu kita. Apakah nawaitu ayah ketika hadir ke sini? sightseeing? cari awek mat salleh? mungkin ada, haha, taak, of course not, tapi I have my reasons, my niat, my nawaitu, and that is to seek knowledge so that, with God's grace I will have that qualification and knowledge to work in the energy sector and other things but I prefer to keep it to myself for the time being.

As I enrolled in this course, as i enter this country, my sense of awareness of energy, heat, and environment had increased tremendously. And all the energy-related issues suddenly kicks in, and I start to have certain views and ideas, which may seem rhetorically rubbish in this early stage, but still, lets just say its a beginning of sumthing great, haha

People too had ask me this "kenapa pegi sana? Bawa diri ke?" or "tu la, tgk Hanafiah dah merajuk bawa diri ke sana" or sumthing similar I guess. Well, I cant say much about it, and I wont deny it either, I admit that sum part of me is frustrated, maybe annoyed or seems to be a bit tense about I dont know, maybe employment or sumthing, maybe about not being able to do sumthing real, I admit a part of me feels like I played too much, too much that I may had take this opportunity to run from my friends' success when me myself a failure, when I didnt do much, maybe by taking this course, it gives me sum time to get all my shit together, all the messed up and failures, all the times that I had spending making the journey on the wrong path in life, maybe this is just another way for me to retrack back to life. I just dont know kids, there are times I felt so lost, and quite many times I asked myself  "Why the heck did I came here in the 1st place? Dah la bayar mahal, makan susah, buang air susah, lecturer cakap satu apa pun tak faham, belajar benda baru, susah lak lagi!" okay, i exaggerate a bit, but there are times i do felt dat way.

When I came to Glasgow, the sunday on the 1st week I reached there, I met my lecturer, En Hafizi. He said this to me "Tiada apa yang mudah, dan kelemahan kita orang Melayu ialah cepat sangat untuk mengatakan tidak boleh, mudah mengalah, ini adalah sesuatu yang perlu kita ubah" or sumthing similar. I know many people had said this, even similar, but maybe during that situation I cant help but to reaaally heed his words; and kids, never ever feel afraid of the unknown and uncertainties, because you are not alone, I had been there, and I am still figuring my way out, but unfortunately, the process and the experience that I had here is sumthing that is beyond my limited vocabulary. I am still searching the answers to all the questions, but I know one part of the questions; I AM NOT RUNNING AWAY! I believe this is one of God's will, one of His ways answering to my prayer of wanting to improve and finding a way for the sake of bettering myself.

I really need to find your mum soon. Part of the answers lie within her, and you guys too. I will always love you guys like I always had.

From Glasgow with Cold, Kilt, and er...Wind Turbines?

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Em, for me things are doing fine here....I guess, to certain extend that is. Life's kinda cool here, er, cold here, and as much I hated cold back then in Malaysia, i find myself adapting quite well with the extreme pressure...eh, silap, temperature here (pressure pun ada sebenarnya :-D).

Back then, after SPM, i dont know what you guys will call it later, but mine was dat, and it never occurred to me to ever further my studies here. Ever since I failed my SPM miserably, the only thing dat came in my mind is what, or where I am going to further my studies, without having to put real burden on my mum, and the man question dat came next is how? The second question is the hardest to find, to solve, because with my qualifications, and grades, I pretty much sure there are not any place available for me.

I tried applying for matriculation course, swearing that if i got the same chance again I will not screw it up, because back then, it was the cheapest method I can get, and life was not easy back then as lots of things happened. I was really worried, ur wan (orang negri panggil wan) was worried as well. Deep down I realized that I had screw things up, it was my fault, for taking the chances that I get for granted, and here I am suffering the consequences. But it looks like fate had not allow me to take the path and I didnt get the chance for matriculation.

So, with screwed up mind in my head, I came across an advertisement on the paper; it was about study exhibition, MARA study expo. I hesitated, but thinking maybe I might as well check it out; who knows what fate had in its store for me. So, with few of my friends, and uncle Shauki, I went there, we check things out. And I came across UniKL for the first time, and heard about its matriculation, or foundation course, which they refer as Foundation in Engineering Technology and its located in Kolej MARA Kulim, Kedah. I applied, and the following week I received the reply, and I got it. I brought it up to ur wan and things are all good again.

And now, after a year graduating from UniKL Malaysian Institute of Aviation Technology, I was pretty much jobless, I went to few training like INSEP, and TeSSDE program, and I managed to work in Kemuncak Pesaka with your uncle Sufian for two months and a half I guess. Thinking back of the experience that I go through, the huge number of interviews which I rarely succeed, and the ups and down in the past few years, not to mention that searching for ur mum can be quite a pain in the ass, I cant be more thankful, I cant be.

Before I make the decision to come here, I often ask myself why is it relevant for me to fork out lotsa money, and put on huge effort in furthering my studies. I often ask myself too, why is that I wanna study this subject? And the answer came in slowly, and i kinda grasp the idea late, as usual, haha.

I know that, by having this degree, I can find better employment, in much better company. And with the knowledge I gain here, I will bring it back, hoping that somehow, some way, my knowledge can be used for the betterment of the life of my countrymen, and I have no intention of failing no matter how weak my knowledge is.

Before I came here, I was actually in a rush, and I dont had much time telling most of my friends. Well, I am quite a quiet person anyway, and as soon I attained the visa from VHF, I purchased the flying ticket on Friday evening, after coming back from MARA, and my mother had this small gathering between families on Saturday and I went off on Sunday.

There are lots, lots of people supporting me, and I admit, there are time, often that I doubt myself. I was never the same guy before,  and after SPM, and that stigma had definitely taken its toll on me, on my confidence and how bring myself in public and society, but as the experience accumulates, I started to walk out of the shell, slowly but surely, and I admit, the view is pretty much different out here, out of the small, limited confined shell.

Before I came here, there are lots of people that had supported me, friends and family. And as I came here, I met lotsa new people too, and new friends. The best thing about being minority in a big, vast country, we Malaysians tend to look out for each other, and like I always had people looking out for me not only in Glasgow, but in Malaysia as well, and I thanked God for blessing my journey, fate had made me meet all these wonderful people, and letting them be part of my life.

Masa ayah sampai, I had few things, beberapa persoalan that came into my mind, but I think I'll save it for some other times. For my friends who are going to having their convocation this time around of the year, I would like to take time to convey my congratulations to you guys, and this will be one of my motivations in performing better in studies too. For my beloved friends and family, thanks for supporting me, I cant thank you guys enough. You guys are my giants, and I will always love you guys, like I always had.

New Phase

Ayah dah lama sangat nak kata ni...

"Let's go Glasgow!"

Love you guys, like I always had :-)

There's No Such Thing As Too Late...Kot

Orang selalu kata cinta itu buta, tetapi, sejauh mana kebenaran hakikat itu bukan bergantung pada mereka, tetapi faktor-faktor yang menyebabkan cinta itu disalah tafsir sehingga membutakan terletak pada diri kita yang , sememangnya, hakikatnya, lahiriahnya buta bukan pada mata, tetapi hati, tidak dapat menilai dan membezakan antara alumiminum dan titanium

Dalam hidup, yang singkat ini, kita sering mencintai, mendambakan insan yang salah, dan mengabaikan, mengasingkan insan yang benar-benar mencintai kita, penuh tulus dari hatinya yang suci. Kita selalu membuat pilihan yang salah, dan hanya sedar untuk betapa silapnya kita di penhujung sesuatu perjalanan.

dan ini anak-anakku; inilah kehidupan.

ayah sayang korang, serius, seperti selalu :-)

Penulis= Penuh+Lisan

Assalamualaikum kids? I cant sleep...my minds wandering awaaaay...haha, nah, its just dat ive overslept early in the evening, so dats why, gotta change my biological clock, reset it back to stereotypical normal.

Kids, I have many reason to write actually. Apart from all the obvious reasons, the oblivious ones and the many reasons to come that I may never find an actual category for it, one of the reason kids is that I simply love writing, and reading good essays. No, im not saying Im a good writer, is that, maybe, what I did here, is one of my attempts of contributing to doing the things that I like.

I have friends, closed ones asking me this:
"...tapi your blog are meant to be private. And I dont really feel comfortable letting people know about my life, i dont want my privacy to be invaded by unknown people. How come you let your blog become public?"

well, dat's one of the good questions, this is indeed private, but still what I wrote in this kids, is solely based on my judgment, my perspective on life, and I believe that one day when Im gone, hopefully you guys would spent maybe a little bit of your free time, taking a break from you, busy hectic schedule, to understand, to digest, and grasp a much clearer idea on how I had lived my life, and will be a turning point on how you will live yours. It's open to public, because when I write, I wrote about my experiences, that involves real people, people who are beloved to me, who I care so much and their existence definitely meant something to me, and I want them to know how I openly feel about them. There's no hatred, or sense of prejudice, and in case if there's any of my writing material offend any of my beloved friends and family, I stand corrected. Because, when I'm gone, no one will be able to edit any of this stuff.

I continued writing because....I just like it. I just enjoy expressing my ideas here, and have sum sort of illusion that maybe one day, someday you will log into the web and accidentally come across my blog, haha, how dramatic. But, I really wish I can just convey all the feelings bottled up in my chest directly to you, throughout my actions, but i was never good with kids. I admit I was never a good uncle, i never did any good things to your uncle iman, amirul, adam, and not to mention your aunt fatihah. I dont know why, to express my love for them was never easy, and no matter how much I cared, I just cant show it. And I hoped things will not be the same for us, and if it did, and if someday I end up in some old folks home, when Im bedridden, or my time on earth is almost up, you will realize, that, I for once in my life, had a great love, underlying my hard actions and egoistical talking. I may pretend like I dont care, but believe me, it was of my slightest intention of making you feel that way, because i only want the best and the good things for your fragile, short life.

I remembered back then, when it all started, my urge to write good essays came from reading all these books. You named it 'Permata yang Hilang', '85,956 Contoh-contoh Karangan Menusuk Kalbu Konon', 'Menekel Kertas Karangan', 'Essay for Dummies', dan 'Esei-esei Kacang Lagi Mudah', semua ayah baca, best gila, so when you read a good material, I guess its normal to produce your own one, and this are the materials I choose to write about; family, friends, love, life, and success.

Oh, recently I got this chance to further my studies, but dont know about it much. I just hope that I could get that qualification wanted and use the knowledge gained to help my countrymen, to contribute to society, maybe not as directly like doctors, nurses, or teachers, but I still believe that no matter how useless I am, there must be, at least the slightest bit, the smallest part in me that is useful to the society; and accomplishing that is my fardhu kifayah. And with God's grace may He help me in my quest for knowledge and all the endeavors I'll come upon, InsyaAllah.

No matter how high I fly, or how far we go in life, I will always love you, lovey-lovey you, like I always had.

Love....Arggggghhhh!!! Berapa Kali nak 'Love-love' ni!!!!!

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? Well, what's wrong with title above? Oh well, i just assuming that maybe, maybe you guys had become fed up of my stories that usually revolves around love. Okay, i admit, I am hopelessly pathetic when it comes to love, but remember this, even the hardest of men respond to love, and I one of the few hard, macho men (ewaaahh) that well, responds...more, haha.

Kids, I never ever feel bored whenever I had this topic in my mind. Kalau time SPM karangan ada tajuk ni, dis wud surely be one of those few easy score-A subjects. But, nope, pembuat soalan SPM kertas 1 Bahasa Melayu dan Inggeris were never a hopeless romantic, but me, I try hardly only to find it surprisingly easy to include all these important factors in the essays.

Okay, let's get ourselves back together eh kids? I wanna talk about love today, so i dont care how many times I said it, i just feel like telling it. So, bear with me on dis one (and many, many-many more to come) *smile*

Recently, uncle's Sufian's girlfriend, well, maybe by the time you read this you guys should have called her Aunty Sarina (InsyaAllah) she had a friend, who had a strong desire for her beloved counterpart, only to be able to savour the few moments of breathtaking, refreshing experience with her beloved, an experience that I sure none of us would trade for anything in any part of this world, an experience that one could consider as short and brief, like a fading candle in the midst of the dark night. Tragically, the guy, whom she had a crush on had met with an accident few days before, and your Aunty Sarina was so busy trying to come up with comforting, reassuring, positive words and advice, but she too realized that as much as she wants to reassure her beloved friend, there's nothing much she can do about it; for Life and Death was never a predictable variable that we can control, meddle and interfere; it's the work of the divine Almighty and as His loyal, humble servant, the only we can do, we must do, is that accept it the way it is.

So, it was hard, she even asked my opinions and I too was clueless. But I know one thing, if this is to be were tackled from an engineering perspective, and considering the way I handle things with people's affair, it's best to be straight, honest, and polite. So, I tell her I too was clueless, and I may never feel whatever she's feeling right now, but I said to her too to not give up, and give in. God will not make you undergo certain test if you are not able and up to the challenge, and God is the best planner for He is the Almighty and only He knows His creation better than others.

My point is here is that, people, someone you love, will definitely come, and go as you progress, regardless their action of separating their life is sumthing they choose or not, but nevertheless, never give up, and as long as you breath, the bright side of life will definitely come; it's only a matter of time, and pace.

I had always feel this, the empty space in my heart, unlike Aunty Sarina's friend, unlike most of the cases, I cant seem to find the valuable, unique, piece of puzzle to complete the jigsaws of my hollow, cold heart. And the key that lies in holding the most awaiting piece of my heart lies in time. Yeah, time. Time is the best medicine to mend a broken heart, to make it all good again, time is the factor. And in my case and could be your case as well, it's just a matter of time. To my deep, innerself, to aunty Sarina's friend, to my fellow friends who are still in the quest of finding their soulmate, please, please....wait patiently for God will help us with our endeavours kerana apabila seseorang itu telah berkahwin, maka dia telah melengkapkan separuh dari agamanya. 


I will always love you guys, and please wait patiently until the day we met, like you always had :-)


Life's Brief Candle by Shakespeare

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

The Independent Syawal

Assalamualaikum kids? How's life? This year around, the hari raya is intertwined with both raya and merdeka. So, as much as people said the importance of raya, the independent day shud never be neglected as well, tho I had to admit that dis year, the mood of independence is easily swallowed by the mood of the glittering Syawal.

And this year's syawal is pretty much the same like the past few rayas that I had, i'm in no mood for hari raya...yet, probably, but unlike previous raya where I had gone back to Kuala Pilah to see my aunty, it's pretty much the other way around for this raya.

This year, this raya, cant be quite life changing experience, a breath taking one to be exact....or not, oh well, it reaallly depends on how we look at certain matters, and for this, i prefer to view it in a much positive, enduring, exhilarating yet scary experience with a lots of dizziness and clumsiness squeezed in along the way, but nevertheless, I am really excited and I cant wait to see where the end of the road leads me to.

People had say this, wait, I invent this, "When love didnt turn out your way, it finds a better destination" and I believe this, I had faith that God had a better plan for all of us, it's up to us to realize it or stupidly, blind-foldedly to refuse the eye-poking truth and chances that we got.

And every....every one of us have the underlying potential, the unknown capability unbeknownst to the best of us, the ability to outshine, outbeat and outpace the strongest, siliest, darkest rival anyone could find. That's why we should never underestimate and undermine other people because what goes around comes around.

I have lots of things to say, but my mind seem to be so messed up like always. Lately I had undergone a medical checkup and I gained few kgs, oh well, that's normal, and I cant be thankful enuf to the Almighty for giving me  such wealthy health. I realize too, that in life, i was never thankful enuf, never ever feel satisfied with what I had in a negative aspect, and yet God had continue showering me with His blessings, and may I shall not be forgetful in the good or bad times. Enuf said, I will always love you guys, like I always had.